Can I get a table…?
Can I get a menu…?
Can I get some water…?
From the tap…?
No…
Can I get a latte…?
Can I get red wine…?
Can I get Americano…?
With hot milk…?
No… but
Can I get a spag bol…?
Can I get linguini…?
Can I get a pizza…?
Pepperoni hot…?
No… but you…
Can I get a diet coke…?
Can I get a straw please…?
Can I get a milk shake…?
Strawberry one…?
No… but you can…
Can I get ketchup…?
Can I get salad…?
Can I get some dressing…?
With blue cheese
No… but you can have…
Can I get a side dish…?
Can I get French Fries…?
Can I get garlic bread…?
With cheese on…?
…any of these things…
Can I get a beer…?
Can I get a spritzer…?
Can I get a rump steak…?
Medium rare…?
…but you’re not going anywhere near the kitchen…!
Martin A W Holmes, October 2016
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