PENGUIN BISCUIT JOKES

"Why was the penguin popular?"

"Cos he was an ice guy..."

Have you had any of the (now surprisingly small) Penguin biscuits lately…?

If you have, you still may never have noticed this in your haste to get to the chocolatey delights within the wrapper, but along the seal at the back of the individual wrapping, there is always a particularly bad joke printed.

Something along the lines of…

"How do you get in touch with a penguin?"

"Give him a "wing"…!"

And many, many more of them, pretty much all of similar "quality…" and some of which they'd think twice about before even stuffing one into that low point of not exactly highbrow humour, the average Christmas cracker.

"What do penguins wear to the beach?"

"A beak-ini..."

I have visions of poor, beleaguered souls in a biscuit factory somewhere being forced to come up with the various two-line witticisms, playing around with variations on various parts of a penguin, or references to snow and ice, or eskimos and polar bears.

"Why do penguins wear glasses?"

"To help with their ice-sight!"

Occasionally, they do border upon either the abstract or, as is perhaps more likely, the borders of quiet desperation.

"What do you call an angry penguin?"

"A pengrrruin!"

Either that or there may be one of those rare offers designed to give hope to the underpaid workers busily packing the biscuits into the multipacks by offering them fifty quid or whatever to come up with a new joke, paying out only if it actually ends up being used on an actual biscuit.

"Oh look, here's the biscuit with Bob's joke on it, lads… What a wit he is…!"

Still, despite having shrunk somewhat from the size it used to be, the old Penguin biscuit is currently filling that mid-morning snack gap for me and it still tastes much the same as I remember it doing when it was larger.

"What kind of fish do penguins catch at night?"

"Starfish!"

Oh, good grief…!


(Bit of a "non-post" this... but in the absence of anything else to inspire me today, it'll just have to do...)