I have a form to fill in for my solicitor upon which I have to declare that there are no debts owing to a particular company, and about which I would be lying if I ticked the box marked "No" - even though, by the time the form arrives at the solicitor's office, there most probably won't be (Although I couldn't be 100% certain of that at the precise moment that my ballpoint sat poised over the paperwork and I decided to pause to ponder upon this minor moral quandary).
You see, for me to pay the debt in question, I have to wait for the cheque that was paid in the previous Friday to clear, and, once that is done, and the funds are "available", I will then be able to ring up and pay the outstanding fees which have built up since my mother's death because, unlike the "other families" that the people owed the money to keep making rather pointed references to, I couldn't afford to just set up a direct debit and pay it out of my own pocket because I am not, despite any rustling noises that I might make as I pootle about, actually made of money.
Any rustling noises which do happen to emanate from my tired, enfeebled body are, I suspect, more likely to come from the parchment-like nature of the disintegrating and desiccated ancient bag of skin that I try (not too hard) to keep my bones within, rather than from any filthy lucre I might have upon my person, although my ridiculous habit of stuffing receipts into my pockets and hanging on to them forever might also have something to do with it.
So, after another procrastinating aside which added little to anything other than the word-count, let's return back to that tricky little moral dilemma...
Any rustling noises which do happen to emanate from my tired, enfeebled body are, I suspect, more likely to come from the parchment-like nature of the disintegrating and desiccated ancient bag of skin that I try (not too hard) to keep my bones within, rather than from any filthy lucre I might have upon my person, although my ridiculous habit of stuffing receipts into my pockets and hanging on to them forever might also have something to do with it.
So, after another procrastinating aside which added little to anything other than the word-count, let's return back to that tricky little moral dilemma...
The rather important questionnairre is actually almost completely filled in, apart from that particular box which still needs ticking, and the cover letter I was asked to provide to explain why I wasn't capable of filling it in properly is also printed out, signed and ready to go, but I can't post any of it yet just in case the cheque which is to pay the bill in question takes another week to clear.
Every day since it was paid in I have gone over to BankWorld to faithfully check the balance, and, every day, the acknowledgement that it was paid in is listed there, but the "available funds" column remains stubbornly unfilled, and my "important business" gets delayed again...
This is in an era where billions can be shunted around in the blink of a nanosecond (to mangle a metaphor hideously...) if you're a rogue trader, a banker or a politico...
(Oops! There seems to have been a prime example of a Triple Oxymoron which has managed to slip in there, I fear, which might have served me well if I was an Olympic Ice Skater, but sadly is less successful in the gentle art of wordsmithery...)
...but not, it seems, if you're just a mere mortal who wants to be able to pay one or two of those outstanding bills that seem to be still lurking around...
(What am I saying...? "Gentle art...?" We all know that the pen is mightier than the sword... at least until someone swings a rapier in your general direction and you've got nothing but a quill to protect yourself with...)
Because giving someone their own money so that they can then hand it over to someone else doesn't appear to be the point of the great big financial game...
(Oh, it's not supposed to be taken literally, then...?)
Not as far as the bankers themselves seem to be concerned anyway...
(Okay...)
Sorry, I was getting sidetracked again, but that's because financial paperwork is soooooo flippin' dull to have to deal with and I'd rather do anything other than sit there ticking boxes and agreeing to things about which I have very little in the way of understanding. Instead I just find myself in abject dread that I'm either going to accidentally sign away something that I ought not to, or I'm going to hand myself a huge and unpayable bill by inadvertantly agreeing to something that I shouldn't have...
Meanwhile, with procrastination playing its traditional role of being the thief of time, everything important gets delayed once again by my pathetic dithering and, in this instance, my faithful old adage of "If in doubt do nothing" seems rather inappropriate, even if it does appear to be the very mantra that whoever is supposed to clear our cheques seems to live by...
Every day since it was paid in I have gone over to BankWorld to faithfully check the balance, and, every day, the acknowledgement that it was paid in is listed there, but the "available funds" column remains stubbornly unfilled, and my "important business" gets delayed again...
This is in an era where billions can be shunted around in the blink of a nanosecond (to mangle a metaphor hideously...) if you're a rogue trader, a banker or a politico...
(Oops! There seems to have been a prime example of a Triple Oxymoron which has managed to slip in there, I fear, which might have served me well if I was an Olympic Ice Skater, but sadly is less successful in the gentle art of wordsmithery...)
...but not, it seems, if you're just a mere mortal who wants to be able to pay one or two of those outstanding bills that seem to be still lurking around...
(What am I saying...? "Gentle art...?" We all know that the pen is mightier than the sword... at least until someone swings a rapier in your general direction and you've got nothing but a quill to protect yourself with...)
Because giving someone their own money so that they can then hand it over to someone else doesn't appear to be the point of the great big financial game...
(Oh, it's not supposed to be taken literally, then...?)
Not as far as the bankers themselves seem to be concerned anyway...
(Okay...)
Sorry, I was getting sidetracked again, but that's because financial paperwork is soooooo flippin' dull to have to deal with and I'd rather do anything other than sit there ticking boxes and agreeing to things about which I have very little in the way of understanding. Instead I just find myself in abject dread that I'm either going to accidentally sign away something that I ought not to, or I'm going to hand myself a huge and unpayable bill by inadvertantly agreeing to something that I shouldn't have...
Meanwhile, with procrastination playing its traditional role of being the thief of time, everything important gets delayed once again by my pathetic dithering and, in this instance, my faithful old adage of "If in doubt do nothing" seems rather inappropriate, even if it does appear to be the very mantra that whoever is supposed to clear our cheques seems to live by...
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