Friday 29 November 2019

LATE NIGHT TRUDGES

LATE NIGHT TRUDGES

Late night trudges
Back to the outlands
After an evening of pizza 
And theatre in cinema
Arranged before my fall

The chill of night
Enlightened by sounds
Of faraway test matches
And clear bright night stars
Visible to one and all

But I’m still getting up
Unreasonably early 
To deliver icily 
To their daily transport 
Those who can still walk tall

MAWH, 291119

Thursday 28 November 2019

UNRAVELLING

UNRAVELLING

Unravelling 
A human ball of string 
Leaving a trail in tow
Of the pieces of you
Wherever you go
Hoping to find
A way back
To the beginning 

MAWH, 281119

PODCAST 42 – HANCOCK’S HALF HOUR


Somehow I managed to stagger through reading this in the latest “Round The Archives" podcast from Lisa and Andrew (available at https://soundcloud.com/user-868590968/rta042-episode-42-87th-precinct-star-trek-get-smart - this is the text for anyone who couldn't understand my burbled nonsense...

PODCAST 42 – HANCOCK’S HALF HOUR

I’m never completely certain about when I first became aware of the existence of the comedian Tony Hancock.

It could have been those two extracts from the radio series that featured on THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE BBC, a sampler LP that I once picked up for the princely sum of £1.99 when I must have been the sort of teenager who didn’t buy music, but tended to pick up things of a more eclectic nature.

Equally, it could have been when I was a student and I picked up Freddie Hancock and David Nathan’s rather scurrilous HANCOCK book when it first appeared in paperback on the day of release, having heard it being nattered about on Breakfast TV that same morning.

But it must have been earlier than that, surely, for the name to have resonated so. After all, at about the same time I lapped up the repeat season of old HANCOCK’S HALF HOUR and HANCOCK episodes when they turned up on Sunday evenings about that time, so I must already have known something, even if he did die before I was even four years old.

Or maybe HANCOCK was so deeply burned into the DNA of the nation back then that, if you were so inclined, you simply knew about him without really knowing why, and despite all of the Sex Pistolling and New Romanticising that was distracting everyone else around me back then.

Or maybe it was the Kenneth Williams Diaries that clicked a cog or two in the raddled mechanism of my mind.

I know that for a few years afterwards I devoured everything I could read about the man and bought volume after volume telling that same tragic tale of a comic genius destroyed by his own demons and the evils of drink.

It even inspired a painting or two, especially when I’d been hitting the vodka a little too hard myself from time-to-time.

The thing is, we weren’t really a family who listened to the radio all that much. I do remember JUNIOR CHOICE playing in the background of Sunday breakfasts in the house I first grew up in, but, as far as radio was concerned, that’s pretty much my only abiding memory.

Well, that and Radio Piccadilly, two-sixty-one, that my sister listened to a lot back then.

Hmm… Maybe Ed “Stewpot” Stewart used to play occasional Hancock clips…? Well, it’s a thought…

Nevertheless, quite how and when I became aware of the Lad Himself is a memory lost in the fog of time, but as my parents decided that a Readers Digest Peter Sellars cassette tape collection (with biography!) was a suitable late teenage birthday gift for me, perhaps they could tell that the old comedians were people that I was almost bound to become fascinated by.

Or perhaps I already was?

After all, those “old time” comedians were far more fresh in the nation’s memory then than someone like, say, Dustin Gee is to people that age now.

Anyway, I suppose the story here is that once bitten, I was totally hooked on his works. Well, at least those of his BBC television works which were available on VHS and his two starring feature films, because, generally, they were the only things that were available to me.

I came to the radio series far later and, whilst I am happy to report that nowadays I now have access to all of the radio episodes that are available on lovely shiny discs, for many years the ones I had were a very select few indeed.

The legendary “Sunday Afternoon at Home” and a few others, mostly through recordings occasionally taped off the radio and the odd “Radio Collection” tapes I picked up from bargain bins.

Perhaps I enjoyed the tragic story behind the façade to the performances themselves.

Well, it’s a thought.

But whenever it was when I first came across HANCOCK, he certainly made an immediate impact.

And do I have a favourite episode?

I think I do.

And it’s not that perennial favourite “The Blood Donor”, nor is it the eternally fabulous “The Radio Ham” or any others from that ill-fated final series for the BBC.

My favourite comes from a little earlier, and was broadcast on the 16th of October 1959 as part of the fifth television series – the very peak of Hancock’s broadest popularity - and is a spoof or perhaps a parody of what is also a favourite film, namely “Twelve Angry Men”, directed with aplomb by Sidney Lumet, the Henry Fonda vehicle in which he is the lone voice on a jury otherwise convinced of the guilt of a poor lad dragged up on the mean streets of 1950s urban America.

This would have been a very familiar film to the audiences of the fifth television series of HANCOCK’S HALF HOUR, given that this ground-breaking masterpiece of cinema was only in theatres a couple of years earlier. It really is a masterpiece, by the way, despite its simple-seeming plot, and I would recommend it as a movie to watch to anyone.

Incidentally, it was adapted from the live television play written by Reginald Rose broadcast in 1954, which spent decades being considered “lost” but then turned up in an archive in 2003 which kind of gives hope to all of us about stuff turning up.

One of the series with quite a lot missing is, of course, HANCOCK’S HALF HOUR, so everything is sort of connected, if you believe that sort of thing.

The HANCOCK’S HALF HOUR variation, featuring as it does, at least a couple of angry women despite still being referred to as “Twelve Angry Men”, is told across a mere six scenes which, you might be surprised to realise, take place, naturally, on the more prosaic, but arguably no less mean, streets of East Cheam where Anthony Aloysius St John Hancock shares his digs or house or home or whatever accommodation is deemed necessary for that week’s plot week with the scheming crook, fraudster, pal, or whatever of Sidney James played with youthful splendour by the perennially ancient Sid James.

Because he always looked like that, didn’t he?

Well, this one is sort of set in the vicinity of those mean streets, although the Old Bailey isn’t really in East Cheam, of course, but the HANCOCK’S HALF HOUR TV series, and, by association, the characters therein, is based there at that time before the schism which led to a relocation of the lone Hancock to a bedsitter in Earl’s Court a couple of series later.

It’s also worth noting that about this time, at the peak of his fame, and less than a decade before the final tragedy that engulfed him, with hugely popular shows running on both radio and television, Hancock, despite appearances to the contrary, is about thirty-five years old.

Maybe everyone just looked older back then, eh?

So, let’s turn to the episode itself as Wally Scott’s familiar Tuba theme is accompanied as usual by the stern television announcer voice saying “BBC Television presents” and we cut to the familiar "H" surrounding that week’s version of H-H-Hancock breathlessly H-H-Hesitantly- H-H-Hannouncing H-H-His programme – filmed anew each time - and, as the applause continues, we get an exterior view of the statue of justice on top of the Old Bailey and pan downwards to street level before fading to a courtroom set where there is a trial in progress, and Tony is a member of the jury listening agog to the proceedings, all innocent of face and agape of gob.

A policeman, played with quiet notebook-brandishing authority in a cough and a spit appearance by – crikey! - Robert Dorning, is under cross-examination, first by the prosecutor Mr Spooner – played by Ralph Nossek, and then by the defending counsel played by – it’s only Leonard flippin’ Sachs (!)

The people they could get for such small parts in such a highly popular and – of course - high profile comedy series is truly amazing.

Meanwhile, we discover the unlikely coincidence that Sid James is also on the jury and nattering to Tony, and they engage in a bit of banter comparing the proceedings with those that feature on the well-known “THE VERDICT IS YOURS” television programme that would have been popular at that time.

The fact that the Inspector’s notebook reveals that the accused thought that the plain clothes officers were “Teddy Boys” gives the courtroom much hilarity, and allows the scene to focus upon Tony and Sid at the front of the jury box and, whilst the Judge (Austin Trevor – an actor not a car) attempts to keep order in a slightly fluffy authoritarian manner, as Tony continues to answer back – well, m’lud did try and hide his mirth behind that wig of his - and has his competence to act as Jury Foreman (and just how DID that happen?) called into question.

Sidney, meanwhile, provokes Tony into answering back several times, not least because Tony is being made to look a proper Charlie in front of everybody, which increases the judge’s vexation with him more and more, leading finally to the “You tell ‘im” response to yet another of Sid’s suggestions of what Tony should say to the judge.

Then, in order to increase the speed at which justice is served, the judge suggests that the jury need not view the evidence – a stash of expensive jewellery – again, which leads to some backchat about “fair trials” and Tony giving the thumbs up to the accused, and the jury being shown said exhibits - so that Tony can get an expensive ring stuck onto his finger, with a lot of visual humour as Tony and Sid attempt in vain to get the thing off, and many references to bars of soap and butter, and another – whispered – “Ask him…” moment, which has the air of an ad-lib about it.

Then, as the summing-up is done, the defence counsel gets a round of applause from Sid and Tony after a rousing speech by Leonard Sachs, and “Right! Next!” the prosecuting counsel is roundly mocked by impersonation, and, because Tony’s understanding of how things are done is based solely on his television viewing, he wonders about whether they should take longer than the couple of minutes offered by the imagined commercial break.

And, as the jury are led away with some “proper” court speech from the always dependable Hugh Lloyd – one of the HHH regular players - we are left to look at the totally exhausted judge as he holds his head in his hands in utter despair, and we fade to black.

We are only ten minutes in to this particular Half Hour, and twenty minutes of what I consider to be an example of absolute comedy genius is still to come.

We cut to a shot of the door of the jury room, as we will in slightly different ways each time at the beginning of all the three long scenes making up the main “Jury Room” based part of this episode.

As in the film, the passage of time will be shown by the removal of jackets and the jury members looking increasingly frazzled, sweaty and bedraggled as we rejoin them in their deliberations, though not, in this instance, by moving the walls in.

Not in a live television studio. Collapsing sets had already provided more than a few awkward moments in a previous episode.

At first then, the twelve, this time including three women and also another HHH regular Mario Fabrizi, as a juror who will eventually crack, are all looking quite bright and smart as Sid suggests that one way to pass the time is by having a nice game of cards, and he is even prepared to simply cut the deck – “anything under a seven and he’s guilty!” – to perform his sworn duty.

A military gentleman, played by William Kendall, pipes up with what pretty much all of them are thinking, that the accused is guilty as hell and it’s an open and shut case.

Tony, is, of course, the only one who thinks the opposite, and with a swift “Et tu, Brute?” levelled at the always disloyal Mr Sidney James, the “score” (as they put it) is currently eleven to one.

That is, of course, until Sid realizes that they are being paid thirty bob a day, seven and a half nicker a week, for their service which is more than he usually makes on the outside, and he suddenly decides to change his vote to “Not Guilty” with a plan to keep this thing going for as long as he can.

Thirty bob – about one pound fifty in modern money. Seems preposterous, doesn’t it? But the past is a foreign country, and all that.

Of course, when the company director – played by Leslie Perrins – points out that he earns far more than that thirty bob every day, his own thoughts of  personal gain are immediately impugned by Sid, who offers to “fetch him a punch up the bracket” at one point to make his point.

The cameras are, of course, favouring Tony for the close-ups, because, in many ways, it was his face that was his fortune, and his reactions are what make a lot of the comedy sing, which might seem odd as so much of his surviving comedy was written and performed in the audio medium, but Tony Hancock’s expressive face is an exquisite comedy jewel, if you are unfamiliar.

Once he became so very well-known, of course, part of the joy of the radio episodes is imagining those reactions for yourself in the pauses, and they are hilarious.

Anyway, as we get into the multiple “Ah, ah, ah!” putdowns of the arguments offered by the military gentleman, it is up to Tony, in one of the two brilliantly performed long speeches he makes during this episode to muster the troops with his “We are gathered here today” speech which goes off on several confused tangents – the personal “wives/lives” fluff is a gem and Tony’s reaction is priceless,nay, comedy gold, nay, worth the licence fee all on its own,  - and several actually hilarious uses of the word “Nay” follow which all leads to him finally petering out and letting the Company Director have a go, even if the use of the word “unequivocally” leads to some confusion because – in another ad lib - there are ladies present.

Then, as Tony sees the way the wind is blowing, Tony turns to a representative of the “gentler sex” where the old lady in the hat – probably Marie Lightfoot but I need to research that more – manages to live down to everything you might expect from the “Hang ‘em and flog ‘em” brigade.

She even advocates bringing back the Cat.

The “unsure” elderly gentleman is easier meat, once the sad tale of “a little boy wondering where his daddy with no sun to brighten his morning might be” is told. He even falls for the “breaking boulders into little boulders, cementing them back together for other prisoners to break up” ploy.

Which is nice.

It certainly moves Sid to tears, which doesn’t help because “We’ve already got you!” - although pretty soon, he’s got the cards out again, and is hoping to start a party, the licentious fool.

Stalemate is reached and the juror who is a farmer pipes up, played by Philip Ray who was one of those character actors who turns up in lots of things, but listeners may mostly remember from his turn as Professor Eldred in DOCTOR WHO “THE SEEDS OF DEATH” in the late 1960s.

Anyway, the stalemate is likely to continue as Tony’s reason for believing the accused to be innocent is that he’s “got a nice face” and, as we fade to black, a dozen dinners are ordered, and Tony is still wondering if they can send in a bit of lard in case we’ve all forgotten about that ring stuck on his finger.

Seven hours later, we fade up on a clock showing midnight, and our jurors are looking fatigued. Those jackets are off, hair is ruffled, the sets are the same size, and Tony is explaining his theories to the others, as, it seems, he has been doing at length.

There is exasperation in the air. Another poor juror is targeted with tales of his lookalike, and whether he has a brother, and whether that brother is a bookie’s runner.

This is one of the potential theories Tony has for the innocence of the accused man, and it seems that he has indeed got several, and has spent much of the intervening seven hours going through various absurd possibilities, and driving them all stark staring mad.

Hmm… Fourteen Half Hours of Hancock burbling on. What some people would have given to experience that. But of course, we are in the world of fantasy now, in which our loveable clown is not the rich source of comedy we know him to be, but the irritating fool that’s keeping the rest of them from getting home.

The farmer moves over to the window where he is targeted by Tony with tales of ruin as his “city-born wife” is left to run the farm into the ground for him as this trial drags on and on and on for possibly years.

This is very much the format of the original movie, as one by one the “men” are convinced by Henry Fonda’s juror of the possibility of the innocence of the young boy who was in the dock.

By persuading the farmer that one trial he knew of lasted three years, and a perfectly timed “You’ll be ruined but still have your integrity” another juror is turned.

Sidney meanwhile works on the young newlywed with the possibility of infidelity on the part of his new wife, and the tally becomes seven – five.

Deadlock, and there seems to be something of a staring contest starting, with Tony tactlessly singing the song “It’s a long, long way, from May to December" as the screen fades to black.

We fade up again, possibly after the mid-episode break designed for commercials in the overseas sales.

In the jury room, it’s now 4:00 am presumably (although we are playing fast and loose with court procedure here for dramatic purposes).

Many of the jurors are asleep, and Mario finally gets to do his cracking up schtick, leading to a comfortable “six all I think” moment between Sid and Tony.

And so they decide to have “another go” at the rest, and we get the excellent Hancock moment that truly makes this episode perfect for me, the long, mangled logic of the “Does Magna Carta mean nothing to you? Did she die in vain?” speech which is astonishingly well structured as it touches upon Godiva, Doubting Thomas  - The Get your ‘air cut joke is sublime - advertising, the licensing laws, and there’s even a bit of Shakespeare thrown in for good measure.

Following this, there is a – well-deserved - round of applause from the assembled jurors, and all but two of the jurors have now been convinced, Ten - two.

Then the Company director cracks, with an “Oh, do what you like”, and gives a powerful little speech about crime, and victims, that gets Tony thinking, and by now the military gentleman doesn’t care either and it’s twelve nil.

The jury has reached a verdict.

Until Tony changes his mind

That speech has set him thinking. What if the bloke is guilty and they free him to rob somebody else?

Suddenly, however, they’re all very eager to agree that he is indeed guilty, and get this nightmare over. This is understandable, and a very rich comedy seam. So much so, that the horrors of being stuck in a seemingly endlessly frustrating situation with Mr Hancock, will also be returned to in “The Lift” episode of the HANCOCK series a couple of years later.

Meanwhile Sid realizes that his nice little earner may be coming to a premature end, and, with the threat of changing his vote, is able to persuade the others to “reimburse” him for “lost earnings” rather than doing so, and, as the thirty bobs are handed over, British justice has triumphed again.

The episode ends with [Spoiler alert] two scenes set back in the courtroom which both start with an almost identical tracking shot down from the coat of arms.

The first is the pronouncement of their verdict, which is actually played all very normally pretty much and not rewritten for comedy effect  at all, until the judge remembers that valuable ring from earlier, and it is found to be missing.

The second is, of course, another trial, and all twelve of the angry men (and women) are in the dock for conspiracy to steal a (I kid you not) twenty thousand pound ring, which, given that it was 1959, must have been one heck of a rock.

As foreman, Tony pleads guilty for all of them, as it would be a shorter ordeal than any trial might prove to be, and a fight breaks out amongst them as we descend into chaos and fade to black.

Of course, they do not go to jail. The East Cheam gang would be back the following week for “The Train Journey” as the format of HANCOCK’S HALF HOUR was that every week, apart from the personalities of the regular characters involved – and sometimes not even then – the slate would be wiped clean and a whole new situation would appear for their comedy.

But this is an exquisite half hour, which still holds its charm more than sixty years after it was first broadcast, and is well worth a look if you get the chance.

The original movie is pretty good, too.

Martin A W Holmes Sept/Oct 2019



...trying to answer the question of when I first became aware of Hancock and Hancock's Half Hour. It can't have been that sampler L.P., surely...? This for a potential future RTA article, podcast fans... (Hello...? Hello...? Anybody out there...?) - Anyway, I'm becoming convinced that there were occasional clips on things like "Junior Choice" because I can't believe I came to it stone cold.


Wednesday 20 November 2019

REDUNDANT (2)

REDUNDANT (2)

The guillotine is ready
The telephone is wiped
One final journey to that grey box
So ends my working life

They're waiting in an office
For me to come right in
Dotting i's and crossing t's
To fling you in the bin

Redundancy
It’s an opportunity
To make a new start
Composing your Art

Did I lose the job
Or did the job lose me
Services no longer required
Is it their loss - you tell me

Landing on the scrapheap
At a difficult time of life
Don't want to look them in the eye
As they wield their bloody knife

Redundancy
Such an opportunity
To make a new start
Composing that Art

It's not so much losing a job
More it was no longer there
Change and change and change again
The universe doesn't care

Another firm takes over
Needs ten million in cuts
The thing they bought no longer fits

Best just rip out all its guts

Redundancy
It’s an opportunity
To make a new start
Composing your Art

Suddenly you're heading home
With nothing much to do
Churning endless possibilities
For this life brand spanking new

People are encouraging
While you're stuck in your brain
A whirling swirling maelstrom
That's driving you insane

Redundancy
Such an opportunity
To make a new start
Composing your Art

This world expects things of you
You have to find your role
To try to start all over again
And find yourself new goals

So you start to look around
For something new to do
But everywhere you start to look
It seems they're redundant too

Redundancy
It’s an opportunity
To make a new start
Composing your Art

REDUNDANCY!
SUCH AN OPPORTUNITY!
TO MAKE A NEW START
WITH A BROKEN HEART!


MAWH, 201119