I'VE HEARD ABOUT THIS "INTERNET"

I’VE HEARD ABOUT THIS “INTERNET”

I've heard about this internet about which you speak

I've heard it's full of naked folk and body parts playing hide and seek

I've heard it's full of news-based lies and just made up assumptions

Perverts hiding in plain sight and incognitos lacking any gumption

I've heard about this Twitter place about which you speak

I've heard it's all photographs of food and thoughts to make you shriek

I hear its full of shouting fools declaring such stupid opinions

That you begin to wonder if they’re all the government’s fawning minions

I've heard about this Snapchat site about which you speak

I've heard it's all about teenagers sharing pictures of their butt-cheeks

I’ve heard they’re sending home-made porn but just for fifteen seconds

Which is a long time for a teenage lad  - that’s what my sister reckons

I've heard about this Facebook thing about which you speak

I’ve heard its full of the self-absorbed and those who attention-seek

I’ve heard it’s full of kittens, unicorns, rainbows and ugly babies

As well as adverts aimed at single men sent by very dodgy ladies

I've heard about this Instagram about which you speak

I’ve heard it involves photos at which you might actually want to peek

I’ve heard you can make it work quite well if you’re clever with hastags

So strangers “Ooh!” and “Aah!” and you get comments from sarcastic wags

I've heard about this Pinterest about which you speak

I’ve heard it’s where the gullible park links to the many things they seek

I’ve heard it’s full of walls of stuff that people really would like to sell

Though whether much of it is any good is so very hard to tell

I’ve heard about the YouTubes and the eBays of which you speak

You mention your website after every bloody show in your TV doublespeak

Some try to tell us that this internet is a link to many wondrous things

Others maintain it’s the devil’s playground encouraging a multitude of sins

So I've heard about this internet about which you speak

I've heard it's too distracting consuming much of every week

I’m told it’s causing untold miseries and short attention spans

Though I was told that by the Daily Mail who aren’t its biggest fans

MAWH, January 2018