When crisp white rolls are on a table
I’ll eat as many as I am able
They worry I’ll soon be dead
So they offer me buttery spread
Buttery spread
Buttery spread
Living your life
in dread
Of a buttery
spread
Whilst I have been known to utter
I would prefer to have real butter
They can’t get it into their heads
I must make do with buttery spread
Buttery spread
Buttery spread
Not much good
can be said
Of a buttery
spread
I’ll slap on Lurpak lighter
As a compromise (You blighter!)
Upon my fresh brown bread
Preferring it to buttery spread
Preferring it to buttery spread
Buttery spread
Buttery spread
Oh why must I be
fed
With a buttery
spread
I simply can’t believe
it’s not
Are you sure that’s all
you’ve got
’cos I would like on my
bread
A real butter buttery
spread
Buttery spread
Buttery spread
I won’t ever be
wed
To a buttery
spread
On hot white morning
toast
One of those things I
like the most
To enjoy having in my
bed
Is a proper buttery
spread
Buttery spread
Buttery spread
There’s a lot
can be said
For a buttery
spread
And if I’m in a decadent
mood
Although to some it
might sound quite rude
Is it wrong sharing my warm
bed
With a nice hot buttery
spread
Buttery spread
Buttery spread
Spend a whole day
in bed
With a buttery
spread
But if you have the sort
of mind
That fixates on matters
behind
As Marlon Brando might
have said
I do so like a good
buttery spread
Buttery spread
Buttery spread
Spending all day
in bed
With her buttery
spread
That’s causing thoughts
so wrong
Making this a less
charming song
It seems I might be
losing my thread
Over utterly buttery
spread
Buttery spread
Buttery spread
Please don’t
butter my bread
With a buttery
spread
Polyunsaturates so low
Science stuff for those in
the know
Health nuts wanting to
get ahead
Are choosing buttery
spread
Buttery spread
Buttery spread
The wise folk
have all fled
From your buttery
spread
It may never have seen a
cow
It’s probable “Buttery
Moo” now
Might be a good sobriquet
For a brand new buttery
spread
Buttery spread
Buttery spread
All sorts from A
to Zed
Are names for buttery
spread
You can keep your
margarine
With its taste that’s
quite obscene
Adverts meant for the
easily led
Try to say it’s a
buttery spread
Buttery spread
Buttery spread
Despite
fraudulent spreads
I still want
butter instead
MAWH, January 2018
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