I HAB A CODE*

Durrrrrrrr!

I feeb dreadfud.

Duh Code dat has beed threddening to sdrike for duh past dree weeks hab finaddly ladded ad I feeb rotted. It hab been aroud for quide sub tibe now, tickligg at duh bargins of by froat. In facd I was sdartig to wonder whebber id was possiblib tibe to consided habbing a secod opiniod because id seebed to be becubbing rather persistend, ad I had seed dat headlide on duh inderned dat said “Reasods why you shouldud ignore a cough” aldough I hadn’d boddered to achooly reed id, id did gib be cause for concerd.

Perhabs I should hab read id. Dat way ad least I would doh, one way or anudder.

In duh ed, doh, before I had eddy read chance to, duh thig hid me wid full force add I dow hab to accebd dat I hab a code add I ab stuck wib id.

Ad id’s dot a dice wad, either, oh doh…

Id’s a great big sdotty, coughy, yucky wad.

By head feeds like a pubkid ad ids so full ob bush dat ids hard to thig ad all ad I feed ebber so sdeepy all od der tibe. Dat plus der eddless coughing keepig be awake, well id’s dot very dice, is id? I’b sure you’ve bid dere yourseff, so you do doh what I’b talkig aboud.

But it’s dot flu, I doh dat. Ibe not go-ig to pretedd  dat it’s anythigg bore dan whad id is: A winder code.

Unpleasadd, but dothing bore dan dad.

Dere’s too benny people aroud tryig to claib dat whedever a ban gets a code he always claibs its dur flu add dad we all ged dis thig day like to call “Ban Flu” but I thig dad dad’s all bodderdash ad poppycock. Dese figs are dot gender reladed ad we shoud sdop prededdig dat day are, but den dare is all sorts ob donsense writted about gended roles dat I’ve cobbended upod before in dese pages, ib you care to look for id.

I thig aboud duh various drugs dat are availabub bud I’b dot sure how well dey bix wid duh udder ones dad I hab to hab. Perhabs ids bedder to just sid id oud add led id rud ids course, radder dan dryig to combad id wid a cocktade ob medicidds, don of which would adduallid shift duh thig eddywed.

Dot dat I wand you to feel sorry for be or anythig… dat would just be unpleasedd and wooded help all dad buch eddywed. I’b jus tellig you so dad you know, dads all, jus in case you were wonderig why I was acdig  so strage dis bornig.

I case you hadded doticed…

I hab a code!

*EbbBee Dis wus writted od duh dineteed od Dovebber ad I’b buch bedder dow, dank you for askig...