IN THE AIR TONIGHT

All being well (because I'm writing this a few weeks in advance), as you read this I ought to be well on my way home, soaring through the air far above the Atlantic, and gobbling up the eight hours of time difference as if they had never really existed.

Unless of course the Ebola, or the driving, or the mechanical failures, or the earthquakes have got me.

The fates, you see, can always sniff out an evolutionary cul-de-sac.

Of course, I think that we all generally believe that such things will always happen to "someone else", we do occasionally have to accept that they can happen to people like me, too, given that, to most of the people on this sad planet, I'm "other people" too.

So, spare us a thought... (If you have one).

And sometimes I do have to admit that, having seen people struggle with decay and old age, a quick escape sometimes does look like the easier option, even though you might not think so, cometh the hour...

For me, you see, travel does bring along with it a certain amount of fear, and the pleasure of anticipating a holiday is always tempered by my nervousness about the list of things that could possibly go wrong.

It always has.

And that is a very, very long list.

Not the least of which is the tempting of fate and wondering, if things have actually gone catastrophically wrong, then this is likely to be a very ironic footnote to whatever events have befallen me.

Perhaps I should give some thoughts to epitaphs, or "famous last words"...? After all, it is entirely possible, but by no means certain, that these may very well turn out to be them.

I mean, I hope not, obviously, but, well, you just never know.

It's probably good to finish on a song ("Always leave 'em wanting more, kid..." - although in my case, singing would probably leave 'em screaming "Less!!!" but there you go). The problem with being a nervous traveller is that the lyric that is constantly popping into my head is "The Gods may throw a dice, their minds as cold as ice, and someone way down here, loses someone dear..." which really doesn't suit the mood at all.

I mean, if I had to choose a song or a tune to be seen off too, I don't think that that'd be top of my list. It used to be "In My Life" by The Beatles, or "Days" by The Kinks (because I'm nothing if not unoriginal), but nowadays I just think Beethoven's "Ode To Joy" is (perhaps ironically) the most "me" thing that I can think of...

Although, at the risk of venturing into the realms of the worryingly camp, perhaps the most poignant song and appropriate that I can think of to finish on is "Somewhere Over The Rainbow"(weigh a pie), just so long as it's one of the decent cover versions that you're hearing in your head (or, at a pinch, Jimmy Stewart's version from "The Philadelphia Story"). Somedayi'llwishuponastarandwakeupwherethecloudsarefar--- be--- hind--- meeeeeeeeee... wheretroublemeltslikelemondropsuphighabovethechimneypotsthat's---wh-e-r-e---you'll---f-i-i-i-ind---meeee....

"Birds fly over the rainbow, when then, oh why can't I...?"

Catch you later... (???)