PAINFULLY SHY

PAINFULLY SHY

“I cannot abide shy people…” she suddenly announced

The brash, arrogant, confident, overbearing, terrifying

Woman placed mercifully at the far end of the dinner table

“They’re really just being selfish!” she added haughtily

Do you never ask why

We say painfully shy?

I nervously gnaw at my lip, hardly daring to breathe,

Fighting back s growing festering scream I dare not utter

The surface of my soup now gains a strange fascination

Warped restaurant reflections in the spoon mesmerize

Did you ever ask why

We say dreadfully shy?

“Indeed” answered a man as loud as his novelty tie

“They’re simply trying to draw more attention

To themselves than they otherwise deserve -

It’s all rather embarrassing to have to put up with it…”

Do you never ask why

We say awfully shy?

My own inferior shabby shoes have suddenly become

The most fascinatingly beautiful things in the room

I stare down entranced at the pair of them longingly

Wondering whether they’ll allow me to escape this

Did you ever ask why

We say frightfully shy?

“It really is most awkward” said a shrill third voice

Shouting loudly over and through the other two

“What is it that they want from us anyway?

I honestly don’t know why they bother coming…”

Do you never ask why

We say hideously shy?

Focus on the candle flame dancing carefree in the draught

My own shame-filled warmth is burning from within

Trying to shut out all of the noises and the voices until

Heartbeats thump-thumping mercifully drown out the room

Did you ever ask why

We say appallingly shy?

“Honestly, I really hate them, I really do” the original

Woman piped up again, just so we could all be sure

“For making me feel guilty about enjoying my life”

Telling us all we ever want or need to know about her

Do you never ask why

We say horrifically shy?

Panic overwhelms me, bile starts to rise, catches, rises -

My inner voices didn’t want to come here in the first place

The room is spinning, roaring, exploding , vanishing

I rise to make a run for it – All those eyes start to stare

Did you ever ask why

We say depressingly shy?

“Well that was uncalled for” I hear clucked, followed

By a quietly disappointed bellow of “How very rude”

Hoping that other superior diners won’t catch my eye

As I finally, fearfully make the sanctuary of the bathroom

Martin A W Holmes, October 2016