Tuesday 11 June 2019

DEDICATED TO DESMOND


DEDICATED TO DESMOND

It’s the Desmond Llewelyn dedication
Muttered quietly under the breath
When a meeting goes on far too long
Carrying with it the stench of death

“Dedicated to Desmond” I softly mutter
“What’s that you said?” they cry
“That I believe I heard you utter...?”
“Oh, nothing...” I reply

It’s the Desmond Llewelyn dedication
I have to use it far too often
When the talk is all “going forward”
And ordinary people get forgotten

“Dedicated to Desmond” I softly mutter
“What’s that you said?” they cry
“That I thought that I heard you utter...?”
“Oh, nothing...” I reply

It’s the Desmond Llewelyn dedication
I seem to use it all the time
In order to get through another day
Business people can be such swine

“Dedicated to Desmond” I softly mutter
“What’s that you said?” they cry
“That Im certain I heard you utter...?”
“Oh, nothing...” I reply

It’s the Desmond Llewelyn dedication
Whispered quietly at that big table
In response to their latest nonsense
As they weave some management fable

“Dedicated to Desmond” I softly mutter
“What’s that you said?” they cry
“That I know that I heard you utter...?”
“Oh, nothing...” I reply

It’s a Doctor Who production code
For “The Face of Evil” - you can look it up
But if you think that’s being too obscure
Keep on staring into your coffee cup

“Dedicated to Desmond” I softly mutter
“What’s that you said?” they cry
“That Im convinced I heard you utter...?”
“Oh, nothing...” I reply

It’s the Desmond Llewelyn dedication
A useful phrase - you might find - for you
When you’re asked to salute some flagpole
But those bastards deserve a “For Q”


Martin A W Holmes, June 2019




Tuesday 4 June 2019

PODCAST 11 - SURVIVORS






Somehow I managed to stagger through reading this in the latest podcast from Lisa and Andrew (available at https://soundcloud.com/user-868590968/rta035-episode-35- this is the text for anyone who couldn't understand my burbled nonsense...

PODCAST 11 - SURVIVORS 

Well, this is going to be a cheery piece, isn't it?

For some people, Terry Nation did three rather wonderful things in his life; He created the Daleks for DOCTOR WHO, He created BLAKE’S 7, and, somewhere between those two, he created SURVIVORS, his reaction, it is said, to him realising how little he knew about how stuff actually worked.

Born out of the crucible of the burgeoning self-sustaining hippie lifestyle of the late sixties, and the shortages and power cuts of the mid 1970s, and reacting to the constant images of queues at petrol stations from various oil embargoes going on at the time, SURVIVORS is very much of its time, but also surprisingly timeless, give or take one or two obvious specific fashion and engineering issues. At times it is a kind of dystopian version of THE GOOD LIFE but in a no-holds-barred, terrifying kind of a way.

"Survivors" or, perhaps it should be referred to as "Terry Nation's Survivors" – at least in his head - was made over three series between 1975 and 1977, and episode one THE FOURTH HORSEMAN, written by TERRY NATION and impressively directed by PENNANT ROBERTS is very atypical of the series as a whole, and yet makes a fascinating vision of the future all on its own.

The titles are simple and devastating; to a surprisingly moving piece of apocalyptic music, a bespectacled man wearing a surgeon’s mask drops a flask, which shatters. Then, at an airport, probably in Moscow by the image of a passport stamp that appears, he looks a little ill. A hand flops down to the ground. Many more stamps bearing the names of worldwide cities appear, until, finally, London, and then the screen splurges out to a bloody red.

This episode is essentially the story of two women, both SURVIVORS in their own way. Firstly we meet Abby Grant, played by Carolyn Seymour, a rather spoiled stay-at-home trophy wife to a busy executive, initially cast very much in the “Here’s your whisky, darling” Margo Leadbetter mould, who is mother to a son absent at boarding school.

Later we will meet Jenny Richards, played by Ian Fleming’s niece, Lucy Fleming, who shares a flat with another young woman somewhere in London. We’re not really sure what it is that Jenny does, to be honest, but she seems fairly well acquainted with the hospital staff when she turns up there later, although that could just be because one of the doctors is having an affair with her flatmate.

Jenny, incidentally, is the only character who will survive (on screen at least) to appear in the very last episode, three seasons later.

In general, Terry liked to put strong women in his dramas, though, at least until the blokes turned up and somehow took over things including the focus of his writing.

But at least he tried.

At the beginning of this story, the world is very recognisable and presumably at least vaguely similar to the one inhabited by its viewers, although, very quickly, this is about to change.

Like many big stories, it starts very small, in a relatively isolated commuter village just about as far from the centre of things as it is possible to get on the outskirts of London, and the sort of place that is usually left untouched by world events.

The story starts on a tennis court. A game, I suppose, where there are winners and losers, if that’s the allegory we’re playing to; or maybe it’s just pointing out some point or other about being healthy, and whether that makes any difference at all when the virus strikes.

Or perhaps it’s just a chance for the director to see Abby wearing very tight white jeans and a tight white top.

It is a chilly morning, and, with her hair long and carefree, she is playing against a machine, one of those automatic ball serving thingies which is brand new according to what she tells Mrs Transon, her purple housecoat wearing housekeeper, in the vast kitchen of the Grant’s enormously expensive looking house, where they have enough disposable income to have a state-of-the-art portable television in the kitchen.

So far, so very middle class suburban in a “The Brothers” kind of a way.

The class system is very much on show here, as another example of things about not to matter very much, as Abby is very much the posh but bored middle-class housewife with an accent that could cut glass, as we soon find out when her son Peter rings from boarding school, which, despite the distraction of that bright yellow towel she’s wearing around her shoulders, is the first troubling indication that bad things are afoot. She may have to go and fetch her son home at the end of the week if things don’t improve. Already the village school is closed, and as she asks for a cold drink from Mrs Transon – get it yourself you lazy so-and-so – they discuss the disease as if there’s a stomach bug going around and reassure each other that there’s probably nothing to worry about.

Mrs Transon asks if she can go and visit her sister Doris who isn’t answering her phone and it becomes evident that there’s a big breakdown in the telephone network, as Abby offers to drop her off at the station when she goes to pick up David later, although the phone jingles alarmingly to imply that something problematical is indeed occurring.

Abby drives David’s very posh sports car, a Jensen Interceptor no less, although such things are about to become meaningless, through the surprisingly empty streets of the village. The radio is still working, and we hear music for almost the last time as the news is due on at four.

She runs into the village doctor driving his massive Rolls Royce soon to be pointless status symbol who wants to bring some vaccine round to their house later, and mutters about how busy he is with some of his patients “just trying to be fashionable” by joining in with this illness fad.

Abby and Mrs Transon arrive at Brimpsfield station, and Mrs Transon catches her train, and whilst this shows exactly how the virus spreads, we will only catch one more final glimpse of her.

Her function in the plot almost over, the common people are now represented by Blake Butler as the Station Master, Mr Pollard.

Its all gone to pot, as he puts it. All the trains are delayed, the phones all jammed up, timetables don’t mean a thing today, and he’s getting no sense from Paddington.

Although why he’s asking a Peruvian bear for advice is beyond me.

Abby goes to make a phone call from the public call box to report the fault on the line at home, only to find out that is pointless, and, via the four o’clock news on her car radio, we discover that there are massive traffic jams heading out of London, and that New York has had no power for 24 hours.

Tellingly, the camera pans from two young girls in an otherwise quiet station car park to a high speed train poster, showing the heights of human technological achievement about to be snuffed out.

And, after that one final glimpse of Mrs Transon on the train we cut away from Abby for the first time to meet ---

Jenny, in her flat in London, fussing over her ill flatmate who explains through her fever about how cold she is and how worrying her lumps are. Jenny sports a terrifying tank top and a shirt with collars that would give Concorde’s wings a run for their money.

She decides to go and get help, and, whilst her flatmate plaintively pleads not to be left alone, she goes, claiming that she “won’t be long”.

Night has fallen, and Abby does not look well as she is suddenly woken from sleeping in her car by a loud knocking at the window.

It’s Peter Bowles playing her husband David.

Oh look! Finally! The star has turned up. You think it must be a Peter Bowles series because, well, he’s Peter Bowles, and Abby’s obviously about to snuff it so the series can finally get properly started.

After all, these sorts of shows are never about the wives, are they?

Poor Peter Bowles, about to lose his Abby and become a Survivor.

Actually, Peter doesn’t come across as being very nice at all. He burbles on at great length about his ghastly six or seven hour journey, and how he even had to get on a bus, I ask you. Anyway, he’s far too angry to be exhausted and, whilst Abby discretely checks herself for lumps, and the tannoy announces considerable delays to the empty platforms, he starts another rant about nightmare traffic jams as we jump cut to ---

Jenny, crossing a road blocked by a nightmare traffic jam.

In a very busy casualty department, people are queuing up to get jabs in an overwhelmed hospital, Jenny is simply told to “ask at the desk” by a harassed hospital employee. She meets a Doctor called Andrew who is the one who is sleeping with her flatmate, and, even though Jenny runs through all of the symptoms, the fever, the lumps, and so forth, Andrew finally cracks under the strain and, perhaps unwisely, tells her it’s not flu, and that the Home Secretary has ordered them to keep up the fiction to stop the panic.

Seventy are dead and that’s expected to treble by the morning, and in about six days ---

At this point in the narrative, it’s surprising to realise that only thirteen minutes have passed; this story is moving at a cracking pace, especially for a series made when it was.

Back at Grant Towers, David is doing a lot of reckoning as he sits in his nice suit drinking his nice glass of whisky, and wondering where his evening meal is.

More backstory unfolds: Agents in Hong Kong say “millions” have died in China although that’s not on the news, as well as some people in Rome.

And whilst Abby cooks bacon and eggs, so convincingly that the fat spits in her eye, he fiddles with the now dead radio and spills the beans about having spoken to Peter about the secret plans for Abby’s birthday surprise.

But the apocalypse is upon them: Radio Four cannot be found…!

Over his dinner, whilst Abby simply has cheese because she’s not feeling well, they discuss the millions killed by the Flu epidemic after the first world war – a real world tale for those still thinking this is slightly far-fetched, I suppose – and David – probably typically – worries about the effect this might all have on his business interests.

And so, as the condemned man eats his hearty evening breakfast, we pause to note that his expectation was that Abby would cook it for him, and, because we’re deep in the heart of the nineteen-seventies, she does this without comment.

This not at all cosy domestic scene (apart from his obvious wealth, what on earth does she see in him?) is punctuated by discussions about how the scientists will sort it all out in the end, and what happens when a city breaks down, and – in a poetic aside from the pen of Mr Nation - whether a city is like a pampered baby.

David expects there to be a State of Emergency declared and for the troops to be sent in and, in a shocking display of proto-NIMBYism, states that they’ll be alright out there in the countryside, just as the lights go out.

For Jenny, back in London, the lights also go out, and, with Doctor Andrew in tow, they find that her flatmate has died alone whilst she was out getting help, which makes her feel guilty for a moment or three, but will be all but forgotten about as the calamity escalates, and Andrew tells her in no uncertain terms to get out of London and that he can’t because he already has the disease and is therefore, as doomed as the person he was having an affair with who they came here to fail to help.

In the grim darkness, with sirens still blaring, we discover that Jenny has no symptoms and that some people appear to have a natural immunity. In the hospital they have had only one survivor out of hundreds of cases, and Doctor Andrew leaves with the cheery thought that the cities are going to turn into cesspits very quickly.

Back at the Grant’s house, it is a relatively normal bedtime, and, in dreadful pyjamas, David reluctantly suggests that they might get Peter out of school… maybe… later… if things get tricky…

What his definition of “tricky” might be remains unclear, given what we’ve already seen, and the title of the programme, but he is acting in a very human manner here, in assuming that the life they have is forever, and that things will get back to normal soon.

They try to get to sleep, but Abby is starting to show signs of illness and, still keeping up the pretence going that this is about to become the David Grant show, she’s feeling hot…

Night has fallen and, in a sinister cut to some shop window dummies, Jenny is walking along a dark and terrifying street in an awful coat and carrying awfully inappropriate luggage. Glass smashes, and she is harassed and threatened by three awful men to indicate the new world order, and just how terrifying this world is about to get, although this time, Jenny manages to run away.

The only upside is that we can probably assume that this scary trio is also doomed. It’s not a kind thought, but we appear to be beyond kindness now.

Back in the vast kitchen of Grant Towers, it is the middle of the night and a dreadfully ill Abby is at the sink, not dutifully doing David’s washing up, but trying to get herself a drink of water. A glass is dropped, and David, still trying to convince us that this is his show now, and that he’s destined to meet up with Jenny eventually, fails to get a phone line to ring for a Doctor.

At the moment, Jenny looks like she might need saving too, as, terrified, she hides from more urban horrors.

The next day, David intercepts his local Doctor who is leaving after yet another pointless visit. He’s not looking too good himself when David meets him, and his own wife died that very afternoon, which explains the whisky he’s knocking back behind the wheel.

He’s not a cheery soul, despite him attempting a dark joke or two, people are dying and there’s nothing he can do. In this small microcosm of life representing the world as a whole, he’s just seen an entire family die inside an hour, and he wonders if that’s just one morning, what will things be like in a week. He’s just very, very tired, and explains to David that in a week millions could be dead.

For Jenny, still making her way along frightening urban streets that might have once looked quite pleasant, a clap of ominous thunder leads to her finding an abandoned car to sleep the night away in.

Abby has spent a sweaty Monday night, and, at 6:12 on a Tuesday morning (we have to assume that her alarm clock has batteries here given the lack of power) we hear the same rainstorm that Jenny is sheltering from. Then, on a bright Saturday, at 3:29, we hear birdsong and Abby wakes up.

She has survived.

With tentative calls of “David?”, we see that the kitchen is in a state, the fragments of the glass she once dropped is where she left it, and, as she pours herself a swift Gin and Tonic, we see that David – Peter flippin’ Bowles, remember – has died on the sofa as she slept.

Crikey!

Jenny has made it out of the city and is surprised to have a brief encounter with Talfryn Thomas and his little tent. He is playing Tom Price, an unsavoury Welsh vagrant who will come back later in the series and give it at least one of its more terrible moments.

For the moment he is simply a frightened figure imploring Jenny to stay back as they barter for rabbits, tinned food, and chocolate.

Against a dramatic skyline we hear from Jenny of just how bad it was in London, and frightened villages who wouldn’t let her in for fear of the disease they think she might have.

Tom Price is, however, something of an optimist, telling her to wait until the doctors have cleared it up, and that the Yanks’ll have a cure. He sees a bright future with plenty of work and big money to be made, showing how people cling on to the view of society they think they still have, something that will be picked up on in a later episode when he is seen wearing posh clothes and driving a stolen Rolls Royce.

This odd couple part, at least for the time being, with a cheery “Good Luck!” and a warning to stay away from people.

Abby is, so far at least, staying with one particular and very dead person, and looks terribly sad, a look which she does very well, it must be said. She decides to go outside and, wearing a huge woolly hat, walks around the very dead looking village that she lived in. She finds empty houses, a pointless Rolls Royce, and an angry dog. She heads to the church where the graveyard reminds us of an earlier line about not being able to bury the dead, and prays that she’s not the only one still alive.

Later, back home, as she contemplates a vase full of dead flowers whilst wearing more rings on her fingers than seems feasible, she makes a decision to try to find her son Peter, and as she drives her car along an empty road, she just misses out on meeting Jenny, as, despite her hurting feet, she has run to the roadside just a little too late as she heard a car.

Arriving at a massive house which turns out to be the private school they sent their son to, she honks the car’s horn, but nobody comes. In a different, but equally huge woolly hat, she walks around the abandoned school, finding dead boys still in their beds, but, to her great relief, Peter is not one of the bodies.

Amazingly, she sees a light burning, which brings her to the rooms of Doctor Bronson, as played with quiet dignity by Peter Copley. He is dutifully monitoring a ham radio, but is shocked when she finds him as he is profoundly deaf. He tells her a tragic tale of a group - including her son - which escaped five days earlier and that, out of three hundred people in the school, how he is the only one still alive.

Still, Abby remains optimistic of finding Peter and, who knows, maybe he got some sort of genetic immunity from his mother?

Jenny finds a man sitting by a tree with a fire lit. He is barely alive, but manages to ask her to keep away. Jenny is too tired to go any further, and asks if she can stay, and her new friend seems too ill and exhausted to put up any further resistance.

Meanwhile, as it’s getting light, Abby is having a fag, whilst Doctor Bronson fills in a lot of the back story that he heard via his radio, with tales of the death of administration, the terrible way life got in the cities, and his musings on the biological freaks that he and Abby are.

After this, his exposition is basically the philosophy for the entire series; that they must come through what is to follow and start learning again. Could any of us make a candle from scratch? Could a skilled carpenter make the tools he actually needs to work in wood?

Despite the breathing space that they might have from the rapidly dwindling resources that already exist, he realises that he could possibly fashion a stone tool, and he reflects upon the irony that his generation, one that put a man on the moon, are now discussing stone tools.

All must be learned again.

Doctor Bronson makes for a rather tragic figure as he stands alone, facing a useless future in a tweed suit and old school tie once his hearing aid batteries run out.

Jenny, meanwhile, finds that morning has come and the fire has gone out. Her companion of last night lies dead – or deadish, because he does blink – and, as she has a sudden realisation in her stupid coat and with her stupid bags, she decides to scavenge what she can from him, taking the more practical bag that was serving as his pillow, and finding it stuffed to the brim not with crisps and chocolate, but bundle after bundle of now worthless five pound notes.

The implications are clear. Values have now changed. What once mattered a lot to some people no longer does.

After a little bit of rather surprising actual, if slightly (but not THAT slightly) blurry, nudity, Abby takes a final shower in what was once her family home, metaphorically scrubbing off the past.

Then, after cutting short her long hair, Abby, leaving the Jensen, loads up the practical Volvo, with cans spare petrol that she got from somewhere, and uses the rest to burn down the house with most of her possessions, and David’s body, inside.

The implications are clear: Her old life is gone, the world as we know it is gone. And, what with killer rats, mob rule, plague, kangaroo courts, obsessive repopulators, and gangs of thugs, there is far, far worse to come.

But it’s only a story.

Or is it?

Some might suggest with our current population growth and overstretched resources, and various nutters running various parts of the world, the biological culling of humanity is only a heartbeat away, and our society may very well have to face some or all of the fears that this remarkable piece of television causes us to think about.

Sleep well.

Martin A W Holmes, August 2018