A friend of mine had a bit of a family crisis recently about which, as is the nature of such things nowadays, the story unfolded on FizzBok (not its real name) over the course of about twenty four hours and intrigued and appalled me in pretty much equal measure.
It is, of course, not my tale to tell, and you can find the whole story at http://akh-wonderfullife.blogspot.com/2012/01/incident-number-0155-110112.html if you so choose to do, but part of the subtext did resonate with me after a telephone call from my mother telling me of the sudden unexpected death of one of her own neighbours on Saturday afternoon.
By the way, if you enjoy a good read, and I’m having one of my occasional breaks from the wacky world of blogging (or even if I’m not…) AKH’s regular blogs over at “What a Wonderful Life” are well worth a look…
What actually occurred was truly dreadful and bears repeating to a wider public for information purposes as much as for any other reason, but the way the story unfolded, and how different people responded to it in the wild and wacky world of social networking also fascinated me too, and that is what I wanted to write about today whilst running the risk of offending just about everyone involved in that saga.
All of the text in bold italics are from the original threads, with my own “hilarious” observations added and the names concealed to protect the various identities involved, and, whilst it’s obviously a blessing to have friends who are interested enough to take an interest, sometimes the way they do is very odd indeed, especially to the outside observer.
AH: Mother-in-law leaves light on in lounge - Neighbour thinks she has died and calls police - Mother-in-law fast asleep - Police batter the door with a ram and destroy it - WTF! She left a light on for God's sakes! I do it all the time. Just going around to look at the damage. Nosey neighbours with too much imagination.
(2 people “like” this.)
I think that I’ve mentioned before my bewilderment at the whole concept of “liking” something that is palpably “bad” news but, since one or two people have had a few words with me whilst threatening me with their “sense of perspective” sticks I’m (almost) prepared to let it pass. However, one of the strange things about the wild and wacky world of so-called social networking is that the default initial position with regards to anything being posted is to regard it as being a “joke”. I’ve had my doubts recently that anyone who adds a comment actually bothers to read what they are commenting upon, but the first two replies kind of confirmed this:
PP: AH, she's got to stop dealing in crack!
IM: Couldn't they have knocked first?!
And the third just ended up being the kind of bewildering comment that FizzBok occasionally delivers, not least due to the exclamation mark being used instead of a question mark. “What”, I thought “The hell is this person trying to say?” Were they implying that the suspected “joke” wasn’t funny…? That m’friend’s sense of humour had just gone into a very bizarre place…? Or merely that yet another unusual tale from a long list of unfortunate events was being explained…?
ST: Are you for real!
Then, the cold hard truth starts to sink in:
DB: I thought that was a joke when I first read it. Obviously not.
And the comments start to take a more concerned note, although not before a moment of perhaps rather sanctimonious seeming criticism:
VS: You may be thanking that nosey neighbour one day.
And another voice joins the party, still implying that the whole incident is some sort of joke, perhaps being inflicted upon his mother-in-law by the writer of the initial post:
SB: Nosey neighbours ???! Yes AH... good one... will she buy it or will you come clean?
Ho bleeding ho… although he then seems to have had some technical issues that require sharing, presumably with the “?” key:
SB: Keyboard stuck.
But that seems to be the last suggestion of levity for a while. The penny, it seems, has dropped. This is not a subject to be taken lightly:
SH: At what point in the proceedings did she wake up?
And people’s own not exactly similar (but close enough) experiences are brought to mind:
TK: Have had to HAMMER on my mother's window before now, when she is allegedly expecting me but has fallen asleep (and she has left her key on the inside of the door) - but surely they could have knocked quite hard first?? Hope she wasn't too petrified by having her door bashed in.
And others, which are less relevant, but speak of a different kind of worry and another aversion to the humble question mark:
LM: Oh dear... Have just left light on in friend’s house as they have been away. Maybe I should go and turn it off!!!!
Things appear to be getting out of hand. Luckily, our initial contributor, the one who is the person actually struggling to cope with this unfortunate incident, tries to explain in more detail across a series of postings that imply many other issues and past unpleasantnesses of the kind that we all suffer but seldom have the opportunity to vent about:
AH: To continue. Neighbour saw M-in-L at 10.30 putting out bins. At 1.30 nosey neighbour saw living room light on and decided to call ambulance. Ambulance came but said they needed police. Nosey neighbour called police.
AH: A few things : 1. Nosey neighbour told my M-in-L on at least 1 other occasion that she had turned her light off very late and that she had been close to calling police. 2. Nosey neighbour is a do-gooder health visitor 3. Nosey neighbour is slightly unstable 4. Mother-in-law is hard of hearing and sleeps WITHOUT her hearing aid (surprise, surprise) 5. Police did not question, leave an incident number, their names and in their report is no mention of damage to door. 6. £750 door now needs replacing.
AH: Actions - I have complained to the police and told the nosey neighbour to mind her own business (No VS we will never need that crackpot). I am waiting for the police to pay for the door or I shall take it to the papers - bloody keystone kops idiots. My mother-in-law is now too scared to turn on her lights after 12.00 and is blaming herself because she left a light on.
AH: Oh yes and she thought somebody was trying to smash their way in to rob her - AGAIN!
AH: Oh - and next door have a key and our phone numbers but the police didn't knock and they sleep at the back. The nosey neighbour has no key, doesn't know my M-I-L from Jack S***, and didn't know she wore a hearing aid. Twitchy curtained bitch.
AH: My M-I-L just called and said the neighbour had been around and said that she had to ring the ambulance because otherwise she wouldn't have got a wink of sleep worrying and all... errrrrrrrrrrr.
AH: Yes I am a bit cross.
This next one befuddles me. Is it a complementary growl in sympathy or just an impression of our host…?
TK: Grrrrr...
Before one of the loyal associate members of the forces of law and order decides to chip in with a bit of technical insight to share:
GK: Is it GMP or Cheshire Police AH?
But we’re not in the mood for any of that nonsense, are we…?
AH: No idea - but after spending most of the night on the phone to them they are VERY THICK. Good course they've been on though ----- Take-a-Break here we come.
Whilst another community spirited contributor appears to suggest a bit of vigilante justice. (Don’t try this at home, kids!):
SP: Take a sledgehammer to the neighbour’s door at 3am and then once inside tell them you were worried and ask politely is everything is ok and then leave. Weekly.
The exasperation is really – if you’ll pardon the expression - starting to kick in by now:
AH: God - the police are so condescending. 'Yes, well it isn't our fault your 82 mother-in-law [EDIT] when our officers were trying to break down her door in the early hours of Wednesday morning. We were acting on information supplied by her deranged neighbour that she hardly knew at all. Please calm down Mr. H'... No, I'm making a complaint.
And an earlier joker is finally persuaded not to see the funny side any more because we all now suspect that there isn’t one, but, nevertheless, decides to side with the forces of vigilantism (Remember what I said earlier now, kids…):
SB: That's terrible, I like SP's advice!
And so ends the first thread. Later on a perhaps more understandably furious follow up appears:
AH: The police are back-covering s***s - un-be-lieve-able... So take me to court because you really are mindless pigs.
Now a new voice joins in the fun, one who has obviously missed the earlier discussions:
DS: What has made u so angry?
Oh how I personally despise that use of the “u”, but I digress. So, to recap:
AH: They smashed down my mother-in-law’s door last night because a mental neighbour was so worried she'd fallen over and died. All she did was leave a light on in her lounge. The neighbour is obviously mental, but the police terrified her so much [EDIT]. She's 84.
And seriously considering taking legal action:
AH: When I spoke to them about it (most of this evening) they said they were justified... errrrrr. Did they know the loony neighbour? It was a single bulb in the living room for God’s sake. Damage to the door - £800- £1,000. I will not let this go.
Which leads to an odd response which implies legal assistance but simultaneously tramples upon one or two basic civil liberties:
DS: AKH, They should (keep) all vulnerable people's numbers on file. Let me know if you any help and I can help you sort this. If u want help private message your tel number and I will discuss x
At least the sympathy is starting to appear:
LK: It’s absolutely disgusting! Poor woman. I'd have been terrified! Why didn't someone call you or her first! Good luck with it all x
And a few basic facts are required to set the record straight:
AH: J's not vulnerable, just old. We speak to her every day and see her at least a couple of times a week. She left a light on by mistake for God's sake. I'm going to make a complaint, but the police are so trying to justify themselves when all they have done is terrify her.
Before the voice of official insight pipes up again:
GK: Andy try ringing 101. If you don't get any joy give me a ring later. Text me your M-I-L's address.
And finally, a general sense of agreement of a course to take:
KS: Disgusting if they did that to my mum she would definitely die of shock! The papers would be a good place to start as well! Bad publicity and all that!
Happily, by the next morning, our original poster is finally able to see a lighter side to this wretched fiasco and posts a picture of the Keystone Kops with the following caption:
AH: "So there's a light on in the living room, and you haven't seen anyone moving around for over an hour? Mmmmmm sounds like we have a potential SMASH THE DOOR DOWN SITUATION. Break out the sledgehammers boys!"
Which someone finds amusing (unless that abbreviation really does mean “Loads of love” after all):
EC: lol
But which also prompts another dark tale which, because of the instantaneous nature of FizzBok is not expanded upon and we are left to wonder:
PE: After my experience with police on Sunday I can only think they are really thick or totally incompetent or both.
Incidentally, my own sympathies and empathies, for what they were worth, went via private message (as, I suspect, many of these things really ought to) and, of course, in passing on this tale to you today. Keep ’em peeled, ladies and gentlemen, but, above all, use a little common sense when it comes to your neighbourly duties…
Absolutely fine Martin and very enlightening.
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