Wednesday, 7 October 2015

THE "THREE LITTLE WORDS" DEBATE

I indulged in a bit of banter yesterday. I haven't really done much in the way of banter since those days around the kitchen table back in Levenshulme in the nineties, and I found it all rather fun. It went like this:

MH: The sheer contempt, horror and fear instilled in you by those three little words: "Fancy Dress Party"

MH: Just as worrying, another three words: "Black Tie Event"

CN: Team Building Activity

MH: Good one :-)

CN: Business Networking Opportunity

CN: Family Fun Day


MH: "Have Your Say" (this could become a "thing" you know) ;-)

CN: Office Christmas Lunch

MH: :-) :-) :-)

MH: "Light Entertainment Programme"

CN: Ice Breaker Questions

MH: Yike!

CN: Round Robin Letter

MH: Fine Art Installation

MH: Shared Accommodation Only

CN: :-O

CN: Meet and Greet


MH: What's your story?

CN: Old School Reunion

MH: (Serious ouch!!!)

MH: Who's going first?

MH: Use Chemical Toilet

MH: (and the kicker) "Conservative Party Policy" ;-)

CN: The Sun Says

MH: Daily Mail Headline :-)

CN: No offence, but

MH; and its stablemate "I'm only joking!"

CN: Theresa May Speech

MH: We'll call you

MH: It'll be fun

MH: Experimental Theatre Production

MH: Sink or swim

MH: Consult financial adviser

MH: Automated call system

MH: Phone home immediately

MH: Read out loud

MH: What d'you think?

CN: Constructive feedback session

MH: Ooh yes... Aargh!

MH: ...and "group development day" frown emoticon

MH: There's also "look after this"

MH: ...and "Can you just...?"

MH: Anyway, having come to the conclusion that ALL phrases are, quite frankly, terrifying, I suppose that I'd better just crawl back under my rock.

However…

AH: Business planning meeting

MH: :-)

AH: hated them - always lead to redundancies and closures. Should have been called Unbusiness Planning Meetings

MH: Rationalisation and downsizing :-(

AH: Nope - piss poor management and knee jerk reactions.

MH: Both qualify ;-)

MH: And TBH I'm really not fond of ANY "management speak" - it seems to indicate purest gittage

AH: At least we are on the same page and singing off the same song sheet.

SR: Blue sky thinking….

MH:. And its evil cousin "That's totally awesome!" ;-)

MF: I do have a wide selection of you need one!!

MH: This does not surprise me ;-)

SP: Dresscode: smart casual. You can have one or the other not both buddy

MH: Or, in my case, only the second ;-)

MH: Thanks for the banter, folks. You know, I don't think that I've had a proper bit of banter since I left Levenshulme back in '97... Just a bit of fun (except for the initial ones which are, of course in deadly earnest! - Just remember these golden rules --- 1: Wear fancy dress over the age of about 10 and you look like an idiot; 2: Wear a tux and you look like an evil idiot. Remember these and you'll be fine) :-)

Later...

MH: Dammit, CN, in all that discussion about horrific "three little words" options, I managed to miss out "I Voted Tory" (!!!) - (Not me personally, you understand, just the expression…!) :-)

CN: We also forgot "IDS"

MH: Slaps forehead (My own, not his. Although…)


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