I HAB A CODE AGGEDD

I hab anudder code.

I dowd dink dad id’s da sabe wad returnig, bud a brad spankig dew wad.

Id’s dod fare reallid.

I wad supposed to be going owd tonide, dod dad I wad liklee to go or eddythig, bud id was dice to be assed. I bean, I doh I dowd ged benny invides owd eddy bore, for der obviud reasod dat I nebber seeb to turd ub, bud id’s dod for der wand of tryig.

Circubstasses jus ted to ged in der way, dad’s all.

Dad ad I fide id all terrblee difficud to face a roob full of peepud who barely doh be, id a crowdid place where I can barelid hear byseff thig. If I wanded to spedd sub tibe chattig to peepud, I’d ravver sid aroud a taybud id a restaurad eddywed, bud id’s dot by call, reallid. If dat’s wad udder peepud wand do do, id’s dot for be to dictade terbs.

Take, for exampud, dis evenig. Dow dat I work nearer to towd, you’d thing dat it wad a strayed firward thig to joid by forber colliggs for a bid ob a pre-Chrisdud dringy, bud Id’s dod.

Id reallid isn’d.

Dow I hab to head hobewodds, pig ub der beloved, ged her hobe, ad den hedd owd aggedd ad drive der benny biles to towd, dry ad fide a parkig place dat I feed is safe for der shidy dew botor car to be left id, ad den sid drikkig binerad warder or died Coke for de evenig while keeping haff an eye on der wevver jussin case id sdards to shovel id dowd wid stow.

Eiveer dad or I hab to walk der two ad a habb biles to der sta-shed ad wade ages for a trade ad ded leave far too earlib, ad ged od der lass trade hobe ad den wakk der sabe dumber of biles hobe aggedd, hopig dat id hazard stowed in der beanwide.

Dare was randig.

Dare was irridashud.

Why od Earth, I randed, hab dey arraged diz fig for a Frididite? I’b yoosyoolee  udderlee exorsdid eddyway od a Fridid, ad be toddlig off ub to bed buch sooder thad you bite expeck be to ad by age.

I’b bot a dite owl, ad all dows earlig bornigs writig by donsens duz ted to cadge up wid be cub der week-edd. Ad ob cord, dis bordig I wuz up earlid becod ob all der coffig… becod, I bay hab menshod dis, dad I hab a code…

Surely id’s dot beyodd der wid of ban to thig abowd goig owd on a Sadderday instead…?

Den I lugged ad der dade ad realide dad I had god id wrogg.

Id was od der tedth, dot der ninde, ad I wuz jus beig sdupid.

All of by randig was for duthig.

Bud I’b still dot goig, doh.

Ad nod jus becodd der wether’s god a bid poor.

Id case you hadded dodissed… I’b feelig a bid rubbij…

Becod I hab a code aggedd.

Jus thawed I’d bedder benshun id, dad’s all, id cade you didden doh…

Sdot fair… ad, if trude be toad, dare wid probiblid be fair abbouts of sdot, indo wish I ab abowd to slump head fird afded aduther leggthy fid of coffig…