A DAY AT THE QUAYS

As they have a habit of doing, another Sunday came around and with it the usual routine of heading off somewhere once again to find ever more bizarre ways of parting myself from my meagre savings. If in doubt, as the wise person once noted, go shopping. That particular “wise person” was quite possibly me, so I wouldn’t count on anything that was said having much in the way of actual inherent wisdom per se, but the spirit does, at the very least, remain willing.

So, the economy might very well be getting flushed down the toilet, but there’s nothing to stop you going right on down with it. Anyway, those jolly economists keep on telling me that the only way out of recession is if we all keep spending like there’s no tomorrow and I tend to believe that they know what they’re talking about because they’ve never been known to get it wrong, have they? Of course I do ask myself whether that particular philosophy wasn’t part of the problem that got us all in this mess to start with… but I’m sure all of those lovely chaps running those banks will be terribly understanding when the cheques start bungeeing about all over the place.

Anyway, certain clothing supplies were deemed as being necessary by my beloved, so off we toddled to the Lowry Outlet Mall. This is quite a trek for rickety old Blinky nowadays, but Blinky seemed to negotiate the challenge with a certain amount of relish, and, after just over an hour of trouble-free but alarming sounding motoring, we arrived early enough to grab a spot in the car park without too much frustration, overlooking the sparkling new broadcasting centre known, I believe, as “Mediocrity”.

I myself had no plans to make any purchases, which meant that, as I idly wandered around the clothes shop whilst waiting for various clothes to be tried on, I naturally spotted a jacket that immediately leapt right to the top of my personal “must have” list and I tried it on, and found it to be good. Naturally, a pair of new jeans were suddenly an imperative to go along with its non-faded darkness, and, well I had been after a decent new pair of shoes for a while now, so whilst I was there…

Pretty soon the plastic had once again taken an unexpected battering. I say “unexpected” because to be terribly truthful, I’ve never been much of a one for clothes shopping, preferring instead for my worn out old rags to be literally falling off me before I have to go through the indignity of venturing into a clothing emporium and finding something new to wear, and certainly the hell that is a public changing room is to be avoided at all costs. Luckily, I’m pretty sure about what my measurements once were, although my recent dietary choices might make those seem generally optimistic once I get the trouser of choice back home, but I’d still prefer to take that chance than to endure the full clothes shopping experience that seems to come so naturally to so many others. Once upon a time I used to watch Alvin Hall’s programmes about turning people’s finances around and it always shocked me how much people felt was the minimum they needed to set aside for clothes shopping every month. The monthly average figures they would quote would often be more than I would consider spending on clothes in a couple of years, which probably explains why I used to have so much trouble getting served whenever I went into bars in the posher parts of town, the first impressions I give possibly resembling those of someone living on the streets. Quite often, now I come to think about it, I have been asked if I had any “spare change” by people generally better dressed than I am...

So I bought my “hip and trendy” new clothes. Actually there’s nothing at all “hip” or “trendy” about them at all (although, I suppose the jeans would have a certain hip aspect to them because that is where they hang from), just slightly newer variations on the same tired old look I’ve been sporting for more than thirty years now. It’s strange how fashions, especially men’s fashions, haven’t fundamentally changed from the same basic format for so long now. Early to mid-era Victorians who had been young in the Georgian era would have seen a complete restyling in the general form of the clothing they wore as garments like socks and knee britches made way for the more recognisable trouser that we know today, but the jeans and jumpers that were worn when I was young broadly resemble the jeans and jumpers I wear today. Actually, I confess that I may still be actually wearing some of them every once in a while...

I suppose my new shoes were of a brand that might once perhaps have been considered “hip” or “trendy”. Not any more though. Now that your author is capable of sporting a pair, their “street cred” will have plummeted below the scale. I’m a barometer for fashion, I believe. If I’ve got one, then it must, by definition, be no longer fashionable. I should consider taking payments from companies like Apple or Ferrari to persuade me not to purchase their products, or to seek out their competitor’s versions instead, not that I was ever in the income bracket where me buying them was ever that likely anyway, which is, I suspect, where my cunning plan falls apart.

Anyway, once the shopping was done, it was time for lunch which was pleasant enough even if it did involve the use of a “2-for-one” main course voucher that we got out of the box one of the recent pizzas we bought was sold in. I know that the company fully expect you to use the things, but I still always feel rather apologetic whenever I do, as if I am somehow confessing to some dark secret poverty, or some deep inherent meanness.

I toyed with mooching around trying to take some pictures, as I have often planned to do but seldom get around to actually doing, of the various exciting, unusually shaped and generally rather photogenic buildings that have sprung up in that part of  the world in recent years, but it started to rain so, despite the fact that I had actually remembered to bring a camera along with me for once, instead we headed homewards with our bags of exciting new clothes stashed in the back of the car, knowing, at the very least that the country’s economy was now feeling much more robust, even if our own wasn’t quite so much.