YOU’RE MY INSPIRATION

I can’t say that in life I’ve ever been much of an inspiration to anyone if I’m being honest. I’ll accept that I’ve inspired a fair amount of laughing and pointing in my direction, and, if my hearing is to be believed, many of the young mothers of the parish point me out to their offspring and exclaim things like “Whatever you do, don’t grow up to be like him!” before fetching the little wretches a clip around the ear’ole to make sure that the message has sunk in, and then slinking away into the shadows trying not to look me in the eyes.

Once upon a time I was strolling along the street minding my own business when I heard the patter of footfalls behind me and a tiny voice, still unpracticed in the art of public abuse and half choked with fear, said “Hippy!”. I spun about, my admittedly lengthy tresses flailing like a cat o’nine tails to see two young rapscallions fleeing from my immediate vicinity full of the joys of a new-found talent for scorn-pouring. I suppose I should be grateful that I grew up in simpler times. Nowadays, any perceived dislike for the unlike is more likely to fetch a chap a stiletto through the ribcage.

Another time, when I was a student, I spent a bus journey to collect my car from its MOT chatting busily (and I thought wittily) with someone I considered to be my very good friend. I’ll accept that he didn’t say much in reply to me that day, because maybe I was in one of those moods, but when I got off the bus before him (because the garage was a few stops before our ultimate destination), he was happy to report to me later that someone had very audibly said the word “Nutter!” at my departing frame.

These things stay with you. They really do. I’m not sure that whatever paltry credibility I had around the campus ever really got over that one…

So recently it has come of something of a surprise when one or two of the great and the good of Greater Blogfordshire, far beyond my own dark, dank and fetid little corner, have used that very word in relation to myself and, it seems, not meant it in any ironic way. Some of the things I’ve written here have been able to inspire some of my fellow bloggists in their own dabblings in bloggery, and others have just tried writing a few things because of what they’ve read here. Putting the fact aside that the little voice inside my head is telling me that they read my piffle and thought they could do it so much better, this is still a very pleasant feeling to have and I’m grateful to you (because you know who you are) for sharing the compliment. I know that I’ve always found it very hard to accept a compliment, but I am really trying to learn how to, even though I get so little practice.

Gandhi once said “You must be the change you wish to see in the world” and I do try to make this my mantra as I potter about through my day. I try to be terribly polite because that’s how I’d like the world to be, although I suspect I just spend most of my time trudging around looking a bit surly or like a scary potato, both of which are not the things making up the world I’d like to see. The world I see sometimes terrifies me, and I suspect I don’t hide it well, but I do try to be civil to anyone I’m dealing with, and will politely move out of the way and let people pass. It’s what I do. It’s what I was brought up to do. This is why I find it perplexing when I so rarely see it happen when I’m out and about. It’s also been said that “If you can’t be a good example, be a terrible warning!” which seems to be much closer to the truth in my case and a philosophy I seem to be much more successful at following.

My thoughts about accidentally made up words a couple of weeks back (http://bit.ly/gjtTvX) inspired lloydy (credit where it’s due…) to tell me about his collection of random online verification words and wonder whether any definitions could be found for them. These were my suggestions:-

Impse – Oi! Little Demon! Shift yourself!

Gessecto – I didn’t know the answer, but then, half way through, I realised that I did.

Trusly – Really, really devious.

Unbilso – I’m not going to pay it and what are you going to do about it?

Cowso – I think that was a cow.

This has the makings of a popular parlour game written all over it, and, since then, I’ve been inspired into collecting some of them for myself. Here are a few more:-

Signifi – Not all that significant.

Niougu – The latest brand of adhesive or a nice new ice house.

Haltiva - A typeface made up entirely of full stops.

Cealst – Cease and desist.

Hallual – Specialist meat product prepared in Hawaii

Ifi – A less than satisfactory broadband connection.

Brough – A bullying male sibling.

If you have any better suggestions, or just want to join in the game, well, you know where we are.

Once you start accidentally making up new words, it becomes a habit that you just can’t stop. These new ones came out of various conversations over the weekend, and have mostly yet to find a proper home. Wetford, Nimple, and Filofacsimile (which relates to the personal organizer I was given for Christmas but which wasn’t quite the same thing as the original product was, if you see what I mean…?).

Oh! The fun we have!

I did at least inspire one inspirational observation this week that a good collective noun for the members of my family might be a “fraught” which I thought was quite well observed. I also inspired myself (if such a thing is possible…) quite out of the blue to try out some more of my rubbish poetry which I’ve put over on the Writers’ Blog if you fancy a look, although I can’t imagine that inspiring anyone very much, if I’m honest.