DEC 30 2010
And yet…
A nice lady from social services did indeed ring around midday and explained that the plan was now to get mum home as soon as possible, just as soon as the care package was sorted out. The hospital were convinced that she was medically fit to go home, so it was now just a matter of shifting the pieces in to place.
That afternoon’s visit was horrendous, a mad whirl of X-rays, toilets and that hacking cough, alongside mum’s sudden fear of being alone in her own home. This did not fill me with any hope, but, as ever, the mantra was “Well, we shall just have to see, won’t we…?”
Meanwhile, during my visit, my sister (apparently) rang home and announced (croakily) that she was planning to drive up this weekend for a visit.
DEC 31 2010
A (very) early morning call from mum, on the day she had decided that they were going to send her home. She was upset about “waterworks” issues, and all my reassurances about drugs in the system and dehydration and trying to relax didn’t seem to sink in. She had packed her bag in anticipation of being sent home, but this possibility seemed to be fading again.
I rang the ward to give them a mobile contact number as we had planned to be out and about during the morning, but didn’t want to be out of reach if a Doctor happened to find himself actually on a ward and decide to release mum, and off to the shops we went.
The phone didn’t ring, but I called into the flat, chiefly to dispose of any three-week old perishables that might still have been lurking within, and called mum, only to find that, no, her release had been postponed once more, and she was naturally sounding disappointed at this development.
We paid a brief New Year’s Eve visit, but she was very sleepy, so we went away again, although I did ring again during the evening to wish her the best New Year she could manage.
JAN 01 2011
Another day, another month, another year…
It’s turns into a less than wonderful day as I didn’t get my usual morning call from mum (although she later still claims that she made it) and spent a lot of time trying to ring her only to be told by the machine that she’s “unavailable”. Eventually I did get through, but the unpleasantness of her description of her day thus far wasn’t encouraging.
By the evening her stomach problems had returned with a vengeance and our visit was curtailed at her request and I headed home worried sick and depressed as hell.
On a personal level I was exhausted but seemed unable to relax, and was becoming increasingly tetchy with the world in general. The only thinking I was becoming capable of – when I could think at all - did not end in any happy outcomes.
JAN 02 2011
Mum claimed in her early morning call that the night staff insisted on taking the commode from her room at 6.00AM, told her she was perfectly capable of walking to the toilet herself and then were less than gracious at the inevitably disastrous consequences.
I met my sister in the car park after she’d driven all day to be here. Several billion brownie points to her, then. A visit to mum for us both was obviously brighter due to her “surprise” presence, but I could tell that sis actually seeing the reality of the situation made it seem very grim to her.
I took my sister to supermarket for supplies and then back to the hovel for tea and a council of war. She headed off for a further visit and I had the prospect of a rare day off.
Sis then returned to the hospital to endure what was a bit of a tetchy old visit by all accounts, and then drove back to mum’s flat to move in.
Late in the evening, a carer arrived told by the hospital that mum had been released…
JAN 03 2011
According to Sis, in daylight, the flat is in a hell of a state. A call to her from mum in hospital says she’s had another bad night and there are further complications.
Mum rang late afternoon and seemed brighter – certainly the picture she painted didn’t much resemble the one described by my sister, but then our conversation later had more bleakness within. It’s still a bit of an emotional rollercoaster all told, but this was the day designated as my “day off” from all duties, so I didn’t visit the hospital for the first time in an age.
JAN 04 2011
It snowed again. Always fun under the present circumstances. Mum rang twice, the second to tell of three “unfortunate incidents” since the first, report a lack of Doctors, and worry that she’s never going to be able to go home. On her third call she sounded utterly defeated, and I was really starting to run out of encouraging things to say.
A call to my sister had me finding out that she’d “kicked up a fuss” in the afternoon which seems to have got things moving slightly after they seemed rather stalled with regards to actually treating mum’s problem. I looked into mum’s outstanding bills and noticed an anomaly which I also asked my sister (now the family “enforcer”) to look into. I was given a job that was within my limited capabilities: buying grapes.
My sister and I paid an evening visit which started brightly enough, but which took a more unpleasant turn and we spent some time in the “relative’s room” (with the strange graphic that looks like someone serving cocktails) mulling over the whole situation, and, after a final attempt at being encouraging before we departed, ended up chatting in the car park for twenty minutes and I then headed home feeling utterly useless.
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