We left off with my mother facing her own long dark night of the soul, but happily, over the course of the few days included here, she seems to turn a corner…
JAN 12 2011
An early morning call from mum because she can’t get hold of either sis or the GMF (although given the reports of their visit yesterday, I wouldn’t blame them for not answering really). I’m obviously third choice. Sounds like she had a rough night although, with large fires blocking roads near to her flat, maybe she is still better off where she is.
Phoned sis again in the early evening, although she’d had a difficult day we were able to discuss her visit of yesterday evening, which involved her trying to prompt a psych evaluation (and getting a promise of “15 questions” that might lead to happy pills), a conversation with a nurse apologising for how awkward my mum is being (“It’s all part of the job”) and how mum won’t even bother asking for painkillers despite her back pain. My big sister apparently sat in the car and wept after that visit.
Our own evening visit isn’t much anticipated, but mum seemed in better spirits than I had imagined, although both the 15 questions and any physiotherapy have both apparently been deferred. I try my best bedside manner with a pep talk (from “Mr. Happy” – I know!!) – mostly about focussing on what can be done over what can’t - which seems not to be ignored as much as I expected, and I am able to ignore my notes made in anticipation of having to be more stern.
JAN 13 2011
Another “day off” from visiting duties – got to take them while I can – and sis’s “post-visit” report is more encouraging today. She took one of mum’s neighbours along and they had quite an animated chat it would seem. Equally there has been positive progress on the medical front (catheter inserted and seems to reduce leg swelling, physiotherapy started, and mum just seems in a better mood). Interestingly the beloved has had a chat with a colleague who says mum’s symptoms are similar to her aunt’s, who was eventually diagnosed with Parkinson’s…
JAN 14 2011
Mum rings early sounding as if she’s feeling a little brighter. The evening visit is a happier time, despite my slight lateness due to someone doing their weekly shop at the petrol station and using a petrol pump to baby-sit her kids. Mum has been relocated to another bay in the same ward, which looks like the place where they start to prep people for release. She received a couple of letters today which cheered her up and she apparently ate properly at last. The rather brilliant physio has got her using a frame to walk with and we have a slight “moment” when we realise mum’s personal walking stick seems to be missing from the move (although it turns up) and mum is generally in a better mood, whilst I seem to be talking myself into redecoration of the flat…
JAN 15 2011
An afternoon visit with all three of us, and things are generally looking up, even if we’re starting to worry about the possibility of such things as bed sores. Mum starts to get tired and tetchy (a good sign that she’s feeling better) and so we drift away after an hour and a half and head off to eat and make further plans.
JAN 16 2011
Spent the afternoon at the flat with sis, trying to assess what might need to be done to make it more “user friendly” for mum’s return home, although sis’s visit to mum last night had her being given strict instructions not to move anything in the living room, so when we look around and think about it, there are few real options when you consider the shape of the rooms and the furniture mum has. Bit of a waste of time really, but it does give us an opportunity to chat about things and assess the decorating requirements.
Persuaded sis that I wouldn’t visit tonight, taking advantage of her presence to get some time at home before her departure puts me on full time visiting duties again.
Mysterious non-phone calls just before visiting time, but that might just have been mum suffering from some confusion about what time it was. Sis tells me that mum is “pleased” that we didn’t move anything around too much and yet at the same time offering to give her her furniture. On the down side, a visit from the Urologist has confirmed that the catheter is to remain for another 5 days and they are then considering fitting a permanent one because the long term used of laxatives during mum’s stay and the unnecessary use of anti-urinary drugs have now made it “unlikely” she’ll ever be able to pee normally again.
Sis is talking litigation if it means a long term financial need for long-term care which scares me a little.
JAN 17 2011
Another Monday morning, week eight, and I hear nothing all day.
An evening visit. Mum looked a whole lot better tonight than I’ve seen in a long time, sitting up in the chair and being positively chatty and animated, almost her old self. This fades with tiredness, but it’s still a good sign. Another Magnesium drip has to be set up, and she still seems understandably a tad nervous about the prospect of being at home, but things generally are looking up today I feel.
JAN 18 2011
Sis’s last day before heading homewards, so I get my last day off from visiting for a while.
Went to a DIY store for supplies for decorating the flat. I rang sis whilst there to warn her that I was going to drop the stuff off at the flat whilst she was at her visit so that she wouldn’t fall over it or wonder how it got there. She tells me some tales of the discussion of mum having a possible short-term nursing home stay after she’s discharged, but all-in-all it’s a quiet day for the continuing saga.
It does seem to be a continuous case of one step forward, three steps back, at times. If it is frustrating for us, Heaven knows what it must be like for Mum, although, thankfully, she doesn't always seem to be aware of what is happening around her.
ReplyDeleteI am at the moment drawing up plans in case I need to make a sudden dash back "Oop North". Now I have already done it, the idea isn't quite so daunting now!