BLOGFORDSHIRE BLUES

"Gather round, gather round... I've got an announcement to make..."

It's been a slow old month at Blogfordshire Towers... the visitor numbers have been down... and we're seriously having to consider letting some of the staff go....

I know that you've all given loyal service and hard work over the past few years, but you need to recognise that times are hard and the current business model is no longer viable.

So, in order to preserve something, you need to recognise that we are going to have to make some cutbacks...

After all, having been open for business now for forty-one months, you would like to think that you'd be noticing an upwards trend, but month forty-one (January 2014 to you), barely managed to scrape into the all-time top ten and visitors were barely half what they were just four scant months ago.

There's been a continuing steep and steady decline since things peaked last September and our numbers have never yet managed to achieve anything like the spectacularly giddy (and admittedly record-breaking) heights where they numbered in the low three thousands ever since.

Month on month, the figures seem to be getting steadily worse, to the point where the project itself seems to be reaching a point of becoming no longer viable unless there are some sweeping changes at management level.

After all, whilst the board accepts that the management team did face some challenging problems during the last quarter of 2013, and recognises that some of those problems remain ongoing, we also have to point out that the same team are also responsible for quality, content and marketing, and if they can no longer deliver in any of those areas and are unable to give the customers what they want, and they are telling us that by voting with their feet... and those feet are not marching in this direction any more, are they...?

And so it goes on... Blurble... blurble... smug, self-satisfied, self-preservational management speak-waffle endlessly droning on until it turns out that he's okay but the rest of us aren't...

(I still have nightmares which go a little like this, you know... Okay, so Lesser Blogfordshire's not actually a business, but you know what I mean...)