THAT CAPALDI LOOK

I will not be drawn on the subject of alleged "grown-ups" dressing up… but there has apparently been a certain amount of increase in both sales and enquiries at the Crombie Overcoat Emporia since this particular snapshot of one Mr Peter Capaldi wearing his brand new look for playing the Doctor in "Doctor Who" was released a couple of weeks ago.

Now at £795.00 for the basic model overcoat, rising to more than £3000.00 for the bespoke model, there are obviously one or two people with more money than sense out there rather desperate to look almost entirely unlike that bloke off the telly by wearing clothes that they hadn't even thought about a few days earlier.

Equally, dear old Auntie Beeb has had to clarify that the boots are not, in fact, Dr Martens as previously believed, but some rather natty pair made by Loakes, a Kettering based company (by appointment to the Queen, no less, because "one does like a good old stomp…") and sold through that other BBC, The British Boot Company.

Having claimed that I wouldn't be drawn on this, well it appears that I will be after all... Lots of people, it seems enjoy dressing up to look like their favourite characters from film and television and, whilst it's not my particular bag - given that the only look this face could probably carry off in the unlikely event of it ever wanting to look "Doctorish"is that Ghastly-looking 1980s Colin Baker number to draw the eyes away from the potato which serves as my head - I can see how it might appeal if you were so inclined, you utterly barking mad fish, you.

Personally, of course, I've rarely enjoyed the idea of dressing up. Even the fancy dress parties at college were attended with a certain amount of minimalism, usually in collusion with my old pal JayMac, whose stripy top served her in a multitude of roles over the years from Pirate to Rugby player and beyond. I once wore all black and claimed to be my own shadow. On another occasion, the letter "P" theme was circumvented by donning the cricket whites and claiming to be a "Pace Bowler" (although, thankfully, I didn't have to prove it…), and on another evening, I parted my hair on the opposite side and went as my own reflection.

I even once turned up claiming that my costume wouldn't fit through the door because I'd come as a Ford Escort, but that didn't cut much ice at the time, I seem to recall. Eventually, my father, during the sewing phase of his enforced early retirement, knocked me up a patchwork "Joseph-ish" jacket which I took back to college with me so that I could at least pretend that I was "joining in" - even though I always felt self-consciously idiotic whenever I was seen out and about in it.

Well, until about the third or fourth pint of cider kicked in… for I was a "Dry Blackthorn" person back then and the "loopy juice" would help to bleach away the memory of a multitude of sins.

Since those days, I've pretty much avoided dressing up at all, despite the best efforts of the fast crowd around with whom I used to hang. They had "children" who would insist upon dragging me off to get my face painted at summer festivals (I got home to discover the campiest butterfly you ever did see plastered all over my face and wondered quite how I got home alive on those mean streets which I used to live upon…), or their parents would have "themed" parties which would inevitably involve accessorising when I turned up undecorated and, when the photographs were exposed later (because it was a while ago in pre-digital times…) again they would have made me look as camp as ninepence with god-knows what attached to my hair and ears.

I don't know whether it was a form of bullying, or that I was just more malleable back then, or just trying to impress people who were never going to be impressed by me, but it certainly explains why I seldom "pulled" back in those days.

Well, that and the thousand and one other reasons, I suppose...

So, whilst I still find the idea of "grown-ups" dressing up to be all rather "silly", I suppose that you could perhaps argue that it's no different to putting on a football shirt or, indeed, any T-shirt that bears a slogan (although, personally, I won't do that either…) which tells the passing world more than a little bit about you and what makes you tick.

So, anyway, if you do want to go completely stark staring mad and get for yourself that authentic (or, if you're on a budget, not quite so authentic) Capaldi "look" (damned scary eyes optional), then you could try following the link below and see where it takes you.

http://www.heraldscotland.com/fashion/latest/stitch-in-time-how-to-get-peter-capaldis-dr-who-look.1391090470

Meanwhile, I have to admit that, with its slight hint of being a throwback to the days of the late, great Mr Jon Pertwee, a man who was known to have a certain amount of elegance about him, I do have to admit that Mr Capaldi does look rather dapper in his new togs for a gentleman of a certain age.

Perhaps, as I hurtle towards the looming horror that is my own sixth decade, I should consider trying to clothe myself in more elegant attire and leave the scruffiness of youth behind me…? Although, if I am going to finally start looking and dressing like a "grown-up" at last, it'll probably mean that there definitely won't be any "dressing up" going on.

Well, not in that way at least…

Fancy dress optional has always been my mantra (and my preference) after all.