Saturday, 15 December 2012

THE CHRISTMAS TALE SO FAR…


Ooh, I know. 14 parts already gone and, as part 15 has already appeared, it must be far, far too late to pick up the story now, mustn’t it…?

Well, yes, you’ll miss out on all that daily “door opening” fun, but, here’s a quick “Previously on…” if you want to join in now.

A man called Mr Snatch sits all alone in a post-apocalyptic world alternating his time between watching the horizon in the hope of some company and a battered old tape of “The Good Life.” He hears an unexpected creak on the stairs, which he later shrugs off as just his imagination. Later on he ruminates upon what brought him to this place and, finds an old card with a note scribbled on it pinned to the wall of his living room which hadn’t been there before.

In Victorian England, another Mr Snatch goes for a lonely festive drink and is threatened by a ruffian in a public house. He escapes, but the humiliation motivates him to never find himself in such a vulnerable position again, and thus inspired, he goes on to make his fortune and build an empire in which he feels invulnerable.

A century and a half after his most famous night’s work, the ghost of Old Marley is still walking the Earth and comes across another incident of seasonal selfishness into which he feels the need to interfere. A poorly paid housekeeper called Olive Scrimp has been mistakenly invited to a “fund-raiser” at the SnatchCon Tower, although it turns out that she was only meant to be “dog-sitting” Mitsy, the unloved Dachshund for the duration, and she is humiliated and flung out into the cold night by yet another Mr Snatch, unable (because of the dog) to return to the hostel in which her family is currently finding itself living.

Old Marley, with a lot of help from Mr Snatch himself, is able to ruin the party, but has less success at getting the attention of Mr Snatch because he has insufficient “production values” to impress him. Instead, and without having read the dire warnings of what is to happen to him, Mr Snatch is transported from his bed to the snowy streets surrounding his old factory in Victorian London, where that era’s Mr Snatch sees that he has a trespasser in the grounds and orders his factory manager, the long-suffering Mr Snipe, to “release the hounds…”

And, er, apart from some ill-judged and ill-timed asides from myself, that’s about it, and it brings us right up to today’s part fifteen…

I know…! Fourteen entire episodes to tell you virtually nothing at all…!

But, then again, isn’t that the nature of advent calendars anyway? A small, undemanding and rather pointless treat that you can consume before getting on with the proper business of the day…?

So, now that you’ve been properly “filled in” on the back-story, you could join in right now, if you would like to.

Or not, obviously…

After all, there’s nothing too demanding about this shallow little tale, and it won’t take up too much of your valuable time and the idea behind the entire thing (if there is any “agenda” at all) was to give a tiny little bit of Christmas-related “fun” to all my chums in cyberworld, which I hope you’ll accept in the spirit it was given in.

And so, in part fifteen…

Ah, but that would be telling…!

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