Sunday, 16 December 2012

A CHRISTMAS TALE IN 25 PARTS: PART SIXTEEN


Mr Snipe hadn’t got to his position in the Snatch & Grabbe Company without being a bit of a wily old cove, and he knew upon which side his bread was buttered, mostly because he was one of the few employees who could actually afford to regularly have his bread buttered.

He very swiftly bundled the younger Mr Snatch into a shed and, with as much politeness as he could muster, managed to insist that he stayed put for a few minutes and gained a promise from the bewildered and angry young gentleman that he would indeed do so. Mr Snipe had, of course, taken the opportunity to mention upon several occasions both the existence and nature of the various slavering hounds which were currently running loose within the grounds, as if to emphasise the importance of not trying to make a run for it.

Satisfied that his charge would indeed now be precisely where he left him, he then went upstairs to run the considerable risk of upsetting his current employer by returning to his office unannounced, ostensibly to report back to him that the hounds had indeed been released as per his employer’s previous instruction.

However, he had a much more devious reason for doing so and consequently risking the vexation of Old Mr Snatch, who was rather used to his instructions merely being carried out, and seldom felt the need to have such matters confirmed to him in person. As he stood before that oh-so powerful figure who did, ultimately, have the entire future of the Snipe family resting in the palm of his hand (and, of course, knew it), Mr Snipe did, just for a second, reconsider his plan and almost failed to go through with it.

But do it he did.

He feebly croaked out his report that the dogs were indeed now loose and managed to get the sentence to tail off into the sort of spluttering, hacking cough of which he was all rather too familiar.

Fearing that his employee might have spent far too long in the damp and the cold of the outdoors and consequently caught a chill, which might transform into a cold, and therefore might already be turning into something he himself might catch, Old Mr Snatch covered his own nose with a handkerchief and immediately waved Mr Snipe from his presence and demanded that he go home immediately, rather grateful at the thought that he was more than likely to spend the festive season recovering and might very well be back at his own desk without missing neither a beat nor one actual working day.

And so, whispering a hoarse “Merry Christmas” in the general direction of his employer, who chose to ignore the familiarity, he was able to depart from his immediate vicinity and, not only that, was given leave to return home to his family, and to rescue the young gentleman from inside the hut in which he was waiting, and escort him from the site, talking to him as if he was an old friend and business acquaintance, right under the very nose of the slumbering gatekeeper.

Fairly swiftly, as the old ironwork gates swung gratefully closed behind them, Mr Snipe did wonder quite what he was to do with this lost soul, who suddenly had gone very quiet as he drank in his surroundings with an air of bafflement which made Mr Snipe wonder whether he had happened upon one of the Snatch family’s darker secrets and this poor fellow had somehow escaped his incarceration in some kind of Bedlam.

Nevertheless, he seemed a calm and amiable enough fellow, and he seemed willing enough to take him up on the offer of a warm fireside and a bowl of hot soup, and he seemed to be positively invigorated as they approached the welcoming light which glowed in the front window of his home.

Despite the lateness of the hour, both his wife Emily and his older daughter were still waiting up for him, and leapt into action almost as soon as the front door opened, running around like a couple of dervishes to ensure that his homecoming was as happy as they could make it. The presence of an unexpected guest caused them to miss hardly a step as they cleared away the various Christmas preparations upon which they had been working and busied themselves in swiftly divesting Mr Snipe of his topcoat, hat and muffler, exchanging his shoes for some socks ready-toasted for him by the fireside in anticipation of his return, and finally parking him in his favourite armchair to get warm, some time after which they eventually expected to be sitting themselves around the table for a lovingly prepared family meal.

Whilst all of this had been going on, Mr Snatch had been particularly pleased that the daughter, whose name he learned was Jane, fussed about him and removed his damp socks and hung them up to dry alongside his jacket and shirt, and wondered about where his shoes had got to. This was the first time that he had even noticed that he wasn’t wearing any, as his mind had been so distracted by where he was and what had been happening, that he hadn’t even had the time to think about such a thing.

She seemed amused when he mentioned that he had taken them off when he went to bed and he didn’t know where they were, and she tried to stifle a charming little giggle so as not to appear impolite about the strangeness of such a remark, but he laughed along with her at the undeniable fact of their absence, whilst wondering at the same time whether his toes would ever thaw out, which made them both laugh all the harder.

Then she had sat him down in front of the roaring fire to warm himself through and to dry out his trousers (which they had awkwardly agreed ought to stay right where they were) whilst she and her mother went off somewhere deep inside the house to sort out the food, returning briefly to hand glasses of a warming punch to both of the gentlemen.

Mr Snipe looked across at the dishevelled young fellow sitting across on the other side of the fireplace from him, his face lit by the flickering firelight. “Yes,” he thought, “There is a definite resemblance…” He watched intently as Mr Snatch shivered and tried to take a sip from the glass which he struggled to hold in his cupped hands.

Then he felt the blood in his veins turn to the cold water of fear as the figure sitting right in front of him simply vanished, leaving the glass to tumble through mid-air and smash onto the hearth below.

One second he had been sitting right there, and the next he was gone leaving nothing behind him but a jacket, a shirt and a pair of socks still steaming away in front of the fire to say that he had ever been there…

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