THE COLLECTED RTA DAILY CARTOON (PART SEVEN) MAY 2019

Judith Kerr 230519

APO'STROPHE POEM

APO'STROPHE POEM

Sometime's we're too hot off the presse's
To check hour apostrophe's
Which can lead to two many messe's
In our ha'ste too simply plea'se

Wood it help if the word apo'strophe
Had an apos'trophe in it
Would it even moor confu'se me
Knot no-ing wear two plaice it

MAWH, 280519

IN THE TRAIL OF A LEADSOM WHINE

IN THE TRAIL OF A LEADSOM WHINE

It’s the blue rinse curtains for Theresa

In the trail of a Leadsom whine

They’ve just failed to shine - No hearts to find

Where she takes the blame for being unkind

Oh, May! Like the rest of us knew

It’s now time to be curtains for you-oo-oo-oo...

It’s the blue rinse curtains for Theresa

In the trail of a Leadsom whine

In her office in Downing Street
Stands a lonesome sight
Theresa is there still
Determined to
Carry on her fight
Her time is doomed
And very, very soon
She'll be gone you'll see
Though we know some other idiot's
Waiting there with glee

It’s the blue rinse curtains for Theresa

In the trail of a Leadsom whine

It’s the blue rinse curtains for Theresa

In the trail of a Leadsom whine

EUROVISION 2019 SCORECARD

This year's Eurovision Song Contest Scorecard...

Here, for those of you that want to play along at home, and simply because I try to do one every year these days (I suppose that it's become a "tradition" of sorts) is our A4 version of this year's Eurovision Song Contest scorecard for you to download...

(I'm sure you won't, of course, but it's only polite to offer)

No rules (we use a 1-10 marking scale - but how Eurovision you consider each category is up to your own definition) bonus +/- returns balance to the farce.

This system almost never predicts the winner, by the way.

Enjoy :-)

THIS IS HOW YOUR WORLD ENDS

THIS IS HOW YOUR WORLD ENDS

This is how the world ends
Incompatibility and lies
Forget that they're people too
Scream about their difference
Make them take your blame
Promising the brave new world
Fuelling the fires inflamed
Beat them with brutality
And feelings of ill-will
This is how the world ends
This is how the world ends

This is how the world ends
People are what people do
Legislating against free will
Scream about indifference too
When no-one knows your pain
Take away your human rights
Tell us it's the right thing to do
Lawmakers sweeping judgements
Think they know better than you
This is how the world ends
This is how the world ends

This is how your world ends
Sitting busily doing nothing
Keep quietly fearing the fight
Pretending everything's okay
As they smash down your rights
The world is slowly torn apart
Taking everything you knew
Giving away everybody else
To benefit the raging few
This is how your world ends
This is how your world ends

MAWH, May 2019

X - A SHORT POLITICAL POEM

X - A SHORT POLITICAL POEM

In those elections tomorrow
Where can my pencilled 'X' go?
I know that I really ought to vote
Can't mark what I've usually wrote

Choosing otherwise feels such a sin
If one of the other buggers gets in
To spout their own vile brand of hate
In this our now shattered state

So where will I place my mark
When all the options seem so dark
Whilst not wishing to sit on the fence
Still wanting to make a difference

MAWH, 010519

I've had it drummed in to me all my life that I ought to vote, I should vote, and I must vote! And our bit is so knife-edgy, I don't want the other lot to get in on my account.

But then my lot really don't speak for me either any more.

This is a tough one, and they'll use it as a mandate.

AWAKE

AWAKE

I lie awake
Listening
To her breathing

Soft rhythms of the night

I lie awake
Hearing her
Softly snoring

Soft rhythms of delight

I lie awake
Remembering
The silent nights

Before she was with me

I lie awake
Quietly fearing
Lonely darkness

Inexplicably


Martin A W Holmes, May 2019