REPLIES ON MY MIND

Sometimes I find myself with my head full of replies prepared for questions that were never asked and statements which were never made…

"The new mirror pounced last night… It was not a pleasant sight…"

"Is it too contrary to be bored to tears by ballfoot, but to find Test Cricket endlessly fascinating…?"

"Without any exceptions, all managers are gits; all actors are mad…"

"Graphic Designers…?"

"Idiots!"

"I need to let any newbies the scale of my madness and my despair every once in a while…"

"I have been considering taking the summer off and 'lying low' for two or three months to recharge the batteries although, as you know, as soon as I do that, I'll find that I want to write something almost immediately, and the whole terrifying merry-go-round will immediately be set in motion again…"

"There are a few things already written - or at least half-written - the problem is that I find myself heaving a huge sigh and wondering why I thought anyone would find them of any interest whatsoever, or even care that I'd had such a thought…"

"I have become something of a 'footballing widower' lately, with the Beloved watching an awful lot of it, but I suppose that it's only fair, given that I subject her to endless days of TMS every summer…"

"Now my (not very) 'secret life' as a very poor player of word games gets just a little more expos-ed and I may be forced to explain myself 'in person'…"