FORTY FOR FORTY

FORTY FOR FORTY

Let’s toast forty for forty

Last post for Basil Fawlty

In nineteen seventy-nine

Something of a table wine

As that Return of the Saint

Was to TV heaven sent

As well as - if anyone cares

Off went Celebrity Squares

The Liver Birds ceased flapping

Sykes finally stopped yapping

As did dear George and Mildred

All those shows considered dead

And Telly had to dim its lights

Losing that twinkle of starlight

We called Richard Beckinsale

Far too young for that heart to fail

There were lots of new things

Like detective Eddie Shoestring

And Charles Endell Esquire

Rose from a Birdie pyre

We met Arfur and Terry

New on that year’s telly

And for a scarier drama

There came The Omega Factor

Then Aphrodite Inherited

Tales became Unexpected

Flambards was all the rage

Whilst Telford had a Change

Thomas and Sarah spun off

Sergeant Cribb went chasing toffs

Professor Quatermass had a blast

As Sapphire met Steel at last

Whilst of a lighter hue

We got Give Us A Clue

And Terry’s greatest prank

Was hosting Blankety Blank

In sitcom land our Audrey

Went toe-to-toe with Fawlty

Penelope mistress of scorn

Became To the Manor Born

Agony and Shelley too

Were both brand spanking new

Whilst Mork met up with Mindy

Which got imported for ITV

But ITV went out on strike

Reduced to messages like

There will be nothing we say

Upon this channel today

Another Terry met June

Same sh*t different living room

Now General Hospital was gone

Only When I laugh came on

For alternative types of brews

Up popped Not the 9 o’clock News

Bringing satirical new enraptures

Just in time for Maggie Thatcher

Sensible telly gave birth

To Attenborough’s Life On Earth

Whilst Antiques got a Roadshow

Which is still going doncha know

With nothing on t’other side

Doctor Who hit wild new highs

Battling Scaroth in Par-ee

Alongside Lalla don’t you see

Tom now had star power

Opening up his Book Tower

But Buck Rogers was on his way

For a fight some other day

The kids got to play Jigsaw

Those Perishers seemed so poor

Dick Turpin knew no fear

And we met old Worzel m’dear

So that’s forty for forty

Last post for Basil Fawlty

In nineteen seventy-nine

Something of a sparkling wine

MAWH, August 2019

Somehow I managed to stagger through reading this in the latest “Round The Archives" podcast from Lisa and Andrew (available at https://soundcloud.com/user-868590968/rta040-episode-40) - this is the text for anyone who couldn't understand my burbled nonsense...