MALAISE 300915

"My friend Mr Sherlock Holmes would suffer a deep malaise when a case was solved, which is why I took to a life of crime m'lud"

The gloominess of the morning
That familiar old malaise -
Which simply serves to remind you
It's going to be one of those days

"Malaise" (from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance for those mornings when everything's just too much trouble

There's this place I go
When my mind's got in a jam -
A town called Malaise

Some modern art just gets me down; things like that flippin' tent called "A list of all malaise"

Malaise -(n):

A feeling of general bodily discomfort or unpleasantness, often at the onset of illness; an ambiguous feeling of mental or moral depression.

FLOTSAM 290915

"Who are these people, Watson?" asked Holmes "...nothing but human flotsam!"

"You don't like divorce cases, do you?" I replied.

Little scraps of flotsam
Washed up on the shore -
Solution to a tragedy
That happened months before

"Flotsam" (from Bobertsons) - the marmalade with all the chunky bits

We are but flotsam
Floating in the sea of time
With the other crap

"Flotsam" - Samuel is the type of guy whose life is a total wreck but who somehow manages to stay afloat even when he's in bits

Flotsam -
°Debris floating in a river or sea, in particular fragments from a shipwreck.

INCHOATE 280915

"When we were boys" said Holmes "Mycroft would always say inchoate, my dear Sherlock - well, I wasn't going to copy him was I?"

If I could only go backAnd talk to the inchoate me
The one who thought he knew everything
Because he'd not yet seen what I see

"Inchoate" (New from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance that... well, it's early days yet...

The inchoate youth
With unformed opinions -
Knows everything

Inchoate -
°Recently started but not fully formed yet; just begun; only elementary or immature.
°Chaotic, disordered, confused; also, incoherent, rambling.
°A beginning, an immature start.
°To begin or start something.
°To cause or bring about.

MOONWATCHING

I wasn't up in time for the Red Moon,
but I caught the I unswallowing…

Watching the moon
come out from our shadow;
Orion burning brightly;
The silence except for the river
running,
and
a distant motorbike's roar.

Daft, I know,
but I like to think,

if I stick out my hand,

I can make

shadow puppets on the Moon...

What a shy Moon this is…

It's hiding behind the trees now.

Lunar eclipse tonight…

It's passing through our shadow…

Do give it a wave.

(Then there was this:)

SUPERCILIOUS 270915

"He called me supercilious, Watson" said Holmes.
I reminded him that I prefer to put on my trousers AFTER my underpants...!"

I've been told I demonstrate
A manner supercilious
By minds you can't penetrate
With a notion vaguely serious

"Supercilious" (from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance that says you couldn't afford it even if you wanted it

Supercilious?
Wouldn't want to talk to you -
No wonder I don't

"Faster than a speeding non-celebrity, able to leap long queues a single bound...
In a word, it's a pain...
It's Supercilious!"

Supercilious -
°Arrogantly superior; showing contemptuous indifference; haughty.

GOLDEN LIGHT AND GRAVITY (WORK IN PROGRESS)

It's all golden light and gravity so far this morning...

Looked out of the window
The sun burning through the mist -
Inside the tablets clattered
And the wires (get the gist?)

IGNOBLE 260915

"Dr Watson, May I present to you the right ignoble Wilhelm Gottsreich Sigismond von Ormstein, Grand Duke of Cassel-Felstein..."

I've always been thought ignoble
I was born as common as muck
Cos when it comes to tugging a forelock
I really could not give a (140 character limit)

"Ignoble" (from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance that tells us more about your background than you'd like it to.

The most ignoble
Seem likeliest to put on
More airs and graces

Ignoble -
°Not noble; plebian; common.
°Not honorable.

LOGORRHEA 250915

"After that fine woman's tale, her veritable logorrhea, have you come to any conclusions, Holmes?" I asked.
"Hmm..." he replied

I always seem to talk to much
I've got veritable logorrhea
The words just seem to pour on out
Far too many than can fit in here

"Logorrhea" (from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance guaranteed to get people talking

Earth's logorrhea -
So many people talking
With nothing to say

"If you want to do our combined maths and language courses, you'll need a good set of logorrhea tables..."

Logorrhea -
°(medicine US) An excessive and often uncontrollable flow of words.
°(humorous US) Excessive talkativeness.

MORNING COMMUTE 250915

A whale tail in the sky
Trees with hints of rust
Nature lays a new carpet
Migrating birds tesselate the air,
Escher-like

...and the fifty-fifty tree

Marks the exact

Boundary of Autumn

Hold on a moment…
That last bit will haiku…

Fifty-fifty tree
Marks the exact boundary
Of Autumn's journey

CONFABULATE 240915

"The professor said wanted to confabulate, Watson" said Holmes "but he just ended up babbling..."

I was wanting to confabulate
So I'd move about the place
But if I asked "d'you wanna be my mate?"
I'd get a slap around the face

"Confabulate" (from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance that's certainly being talked about

They confabulate -
All gossiping about my
Embarrassing gas

I thought I'd discovered a Confabulate Toad, but it turned out to just be a Natterjack...

Confabulate -
°To speak casually with; to chat.
°To confer.

JUMP-START

Jump-starting
my brain...

With a 
morning 
word game...

Is just 
a hiding 
to 
nothing...

If it proves 
my head 
is a 
pudding...!

ONEIRIC 230915

"Finally, Watson to catch the oneiric killer. It's the case I've always dreamt about!"

"You've been after him for daze, Holmes"

She made a gateway to delirium

Maybe I'll dream perchance?
With her oneiric carpentry skills
She knew how to make an entrance

"Oneiric" (from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance that dreams are made of

The life oneiric
Dozily drifting through days -
In your dreams, matey!

Ironically, her oneiric fantasies were a real eye-opener

Oneiric -
°Of or pertaining to dreams.
°Resembling a dream; dreamlike

LOQUACIOUS 220915

"Could you pass the salt, please, Holmes?" I asked

"My, Watson, we are being excessively loquacious this morning!" He replied

Newspapers are loquacious
When someone's made a slip
But in matters quite outrageous
Some swine remain tight-lipped

"Loquacious" (from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance that everyone is talking about

Being loquacious -
Using seven syllables
When just five would do

Loquacious - °Talkative or chatty, especially of persons given to excess conversation.

TROGLODYTE 200915

"The Troglodyte Group is an underground movement, Watson" said Holmes "but it has never risen much above its foundations..."

My friends call me a troglodyte
They say I don't go out of my way
I'm not a creature of the night
But I won't go out in the day

"Troglodyte" (from Kelvin Clone) - deep down, you know you want this

Troglodyte days
Exploring my hidden depths
Going underground

Troglodyte -
°A member of a supposed prehistoric race that lived in caves or holes, a caveman.
°(by extension) Anything that lives underground.

GUFFAW 180915 (THESE ARE RUBBISH)

On seeing the morning papers, Holmes let out a loud guffaw. Watson looked up, wondering about Mrs Hudson's hi-fibre breakfasts.

I'm a tight-lipped fellow

And a bit of a bore

So one thing I'll never do

Is emit a loud guffaw

Hearing that guffaw

Reminded me all the fun

Happens somewhere else

Guffaw -
°A boisterous laugh.
°To laugh boisterously.

IMBROGLIO 170915

"Scotland Yard call me in, Watson, because where they only see an imbroglio I can see a straight line..." muttered Holmes

When life's an imbroglio
And all going to pot
The world looks for a hero
To untangle the knot

"Imbroglio" (from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance that could make your life far more complicated

An imbroglio
Needs unravelling quickly -
Such entanglements!

Not a tangled web to weave - knot since the imbroglio embargo

The rhetoric of fear,
The politics of doubt -
Migration's a huge imbroglio
That needs damn well sorting out.

Imbroglio - (n) : a complicated situation; an entanglement

SOLUTIONS REQUIRED

It's not that these developments at the Hungarian border surprise me.

What surprises me is that something similar didn't happen sooner.

Not that I'm trying to condone what's happening - far from it - but I'm not surprised by it.

After all, I can't imagine that things would be handled all that much differently if thousands of people had walked up through Central America and were tearing at the fences at the southern border of the United States, or, perhaps, if we were to imagine thousands of people were pouring into England through Wales, whether many on the English side might be calling out for the government to build a great big border fence and stop the tide of humanity getting through it.

One of the main problems is also that, to be guaranteed a future, refugees need to actually be "processed" (for want of a better word) and given papers and an identity so that they can legally get a job or find a home, but certain parts of Europe, mentioning no names, don't have a particularly good record on the whole issue of putting "people" into "camps".

It's one hell of a problem for the whole of humanity, and we need to come up with some answers pretty damned soon.



NB This (short) blog was initially just a few thoughts that I was trying to get down in order to write a longer piece (which I'm probably not going to bother writing now) but, such are the quirks of crashing computers, bad connections, and over-stuffed hard drives, I "accidentally" managed to hit "publish" instead of "save" and it got released into the big bad world before I had a chance to think about the content more. Anyway, in the interests of being damned - or otherwise - by what I was actually thinking, I decided not to do any further editing, but just to leave it as it is.

MACHINATION 150915

Holmes threw down The Strand. "If he's capable of such machination, Watson, we need to keep an eye on this Doyle fellow!"

Evil machination -
Treason, intrigue and plot
Can lead to the creation
Of brick-thick books that sell a lot

"Machination" (from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance designed to get you what you want by whatever means necessary

Their machination

Manipulating our lives

Led to my despair

#artwiculate Was I planning a coup in the land of the potato people, or was it just my machination?

Machination -
°A clever scheme or artful plot, usually crafted for evil purposes.
°The act of machinating or plotting.

DINGLE 140915

"Watson, I found myself high up in a tree, hanging on for dear life!"
"A proper dingle dangle, eh, Holmes?"

The thought just made me tingle
A secret that I couldn't tell -
Were we to meet in a dingle
Or did she tell me to go to dell?

"Dingle" (from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance that puts wood in your valley

Finding my true love
Trysting in a dark dingle
Caused great depression

Dingle - °A small, narrow or enclosed, usually wooded valley.

FINIFUGAL 130915

"The felon's a finifugal fellow, Watson, so it will take precise planning to pinch him" said Holmes, picking at a speck of dust

As a young man I was finifugal
Fastidious and precise -
The older me is more of a muddle
Life makes you pay its price

"Finifugal" (from Kelvin Clone) - good things can come in the tiniest of packages

The watchmaker's craft -
Finifugal mechanics
Lives ticking away

Finifugal - °finicky, fastidious, overly precise or delicate

INNOCUOUS 120915

"Seems a nice chap"
"Whenever I meet a fellow as innocuous as he is, Watson" said Holmes "I know that he's up to something!"

When I was a spotty teen
All the girls thought me innocuous
So no matter how I'd preen
I was always just superfluous

"Innocuous" (from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance with no side- effects, guaranteed

The innocuous
Live quiet, desperate lives
Hopelessly yearning

Or...

The innocuous

Live lives of desperation

Quietly hopeless

Innocuous -

°HarmlessHarmless; producing no ill effect; innocent.
°Inoffensive; unprovocative; not exceptional.

GAUCHE 110915

"When it comes to matters of the fairer sex, Miss Adler, I've always considered myself a tad gauche" flirted Holmes shamelessly

Socially inept -
Am I a big wallflower
Or a little gauche?

"Gauche" (from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance that... well, this is awkward...

I get up & play some word games
Joining a party to which I'm late
Usually my results are very gauche
Or at least inartwiculate

DRHAIKU

Finished listening
To "The Two Doctors" today
On my way to work

In "The Two Doctors"
Funnily enough, the two
Doctors hardly meet

With perfect timing
The last CD just finished
As the car pulled up

Leaving the player free
For TMS listening
On the way back home.

WHAT TO WEAR HAIKU

Every morning -
Leave the house in misty gloom
Get home in sunshine

iHAIKU

I read a big list
Of exciting new features
That I'll never use

REJECTION HAIKU

The mistake I made -
Allowing myself to have
A glimmer of hope




It's hard to explain
How my life tends to implode
When disappointed




You know it is true -
I do slip into haiku
When I'm disheartened




I keep on hoping
Something better will happen -
But no - it gets worse.

HRHAIKU 090915

Congrats to Her Maj -
Sixty-three years it's taken
To beat Vic's record

(That said, Charlie's miffed
At having to wait so long
To jump in your shoes)

NAMBY-PAMBY 070915

"We cannot be namby-pamby, Watson! We need to show some steely-weely!" said Holmes
"And you need to take more water with it!"

When the great tide of humanity
Asks us to aid each family
We must not be namby-pamby
But as helpful as we can be

"Namby-pamby" (from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance that... Well, it's alright, I suppose

When it came to Art
Mine was always adequate -
If namby-pamby

I used to like to go to the Namby-Pamby Club at least once a week.

namby-pamby
°insipid and sentimental.
°Lacking vigor or decisiveness; spineless.
°One that is insipid, sentimental or weak.

HARIKU-KARIKU

It's time to accept
That the life literary
Is just not for me.

Wasted so much time
In stringing words together -
What's the bloody point?

None of my efforts
Are ever that successful
Or even much liked.

I don't mind writing
My problem is producing
Something worth reading.

Just thinking about
Literary suicide

In a haiku form :-)

When it comes to words
No-one ever understands
All my little "jokes"

EXCRESCENCE 060915

"Since the demise of Moriarty's organisation, Watson, this new excrescence has begun to grow from its remnants" sighed Holmes

I am just an excrescence
A post-natal depression
Destined in essence
To be no-one's obsession

"Excrescence" (from Kelvin Clone) - the new, improved fragrance that's nothing like that old rubbish we used to sell you.

Up from the ashes
One group begets another -
Human excrescence

"This particular cell is a new excrescence" whispered Smiley "set up by Karla's Mark-cyst mole..."

excrescence -
°Something, usually abnormal, which grows out of something else.
°A disfiguring or unwanted mark or adjunct

BELEAGUER 050915

"Why must these tabloids beleaguer me so, Watson?"
"It's just the reformed Red-Headered beleaguer, Holmes, after a scoop"

Their hopes are quite meagre
Yet troops have their orders
But there's no need to beleaguer
Refugees at the borders

"Beleaguer" (from Kelvin Clone) - the fragrance that is guaranteed to make you uniformly popular

Super-Powers have
The opportunity to
Beleaguer nations

Beleaguer - (v) : to besiege; to surround with troops; to vex, harass, or beset

GEMUTLICH 040915

(And so, like so many before it, another dream comes crashing to the ground.

Welcome to Friday…)

Professor Gemutlich was a genial sort

An amiable kind of fellow -

For his crimes he was never caught

(Which only goes to show)

After their acrimonious split, Dick Dastardly got a new sidekick, Gemutlich, but things were never quite the same.

The gemutlich gang

Terrorised the entire town -

Never trust smilers!