WORK SENT FLOWERS

We arrived home on the Thursday evening, after a long day of meetings with the solicitor and the church minister ticking boxes and moving the machinery ever-so-slightly forward again to find a huge cardboard box sitting on the doorstep which surprised me because I never, ever get unexpected parcels of any kind (well, not for a very long time anyway...).

It contained a special delivery of flowers from my workplace which was a lovely thought and very much appreciated.

Even a cynical old goat like me can sometimes be brought up short by the general kindness of people and the past few days have certainly opened me up to the realisation of that because everyone whom we have telephoned to deal with another facet of the complexity of the mountains of paperwork and forms which seem to have appeared lately has been terribly kind and understanding whenever you explain what it is that you are calling about.

I now appear to have acquired some "special duties" in the eyes of the legal profession by being made the executor of my mother's estate, even though I am one of those people who really, really despises having to deal with any paperwork of any kind whatsoever, as I was reminded that same evening when I opened the mail and found that I'd forgotten to deal with some vital piece of paper involving the transfer of my pension.

Or something...

Considering that I have been finding several hours a week to visit mum in hospital over the past few months, finding a couple of hours a week to sit down and scan documents and compose the odd letter or email shouldn't be the most taxing of tasks, but I know that my mind will automatically reset itself to "panic mode" whenever it has to be done, perhaps because of the general fear of getting something "wrong" or forgetting something "vital" which seems to trouble me whenever I have a form to fill in and a pen in my hand.

The wee small hours have currently become the time when I rattle out the various emails in response to the kind words and thoughts, as well as the more mundane matters. It seems to be the time of day when I am both the most focussed, but also, ironically, the widest awake. I suspect that my emails being timed at 5.15am or some other Godawful time might bewilder some, but it appears to be working, even if it is to the detriment of other, more enjoyable, writings.

It also helps to take my mind off the thing that has woken me up in the first place, of course...