It’s the most special time of the year
A full two weeks for each TV guide
The telly world’s bedecked with tinsel
Whilst the sun’s still blazing in the sky
Drifts of paper snow are softly falling
Presenters are scoffing at mince pies
In their jolly sweaters sweating
Because outside really - it’s July!
They’re dancing festive numbers
In woollen hats all warm and toasty
Singing carols around sprayed pine trees
Whilst the sun still blazes in the sky
There’s really too much glitter
Fake snowballs are gently flying by
The reindeer are all a skitter
Because outside it’s mid-July
Santa finds he’s on the move again
When he should be sound asleep
Supporting artists fat and short wrap up
Tight as the sun shines in the sky
Scarves and mittens all warm and snug
Sweat dripping down from tighted thighs
Such a lot of Christmas puddings
When outside it’s baking hot July
The Vic’s bedecked with festive bunting
Like it has been for weeks gone by
The Doctor’s sonic’s needing anti-freeze
Though the sun’s blazing in the sky
Local news already has a tree up
Festive games played by any celebrity
Pulling out their corny cracker gags
Despite all knowing that it’s July
They’re off to visit hospitals
Worried about the old and lonely
Preparing to make their guilt-trips
While the sun burns bright and high
It's Christmas on the telly
Every news room’s got a fir tree
Tinselled puddings on the idents
Strange Graphics to work on in July
Snowflakes are gently falling upon
Favourite dramas extended specially
Sending actors to less sunnier climes
Whilst sunshine’s blazing in the sky
To spend their special bigger budgets
Fulfilling those longer running times
The Method means they’re shivering
Yet it’s still the middle of July
And New Year’s Eve is soon upon us
Everywhere there are kilts remember
“It’s Hogmanay!” they scream and shout
Yet outside it’s September
Martin
A W Holmes, Oct/Nov 2018
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