EENY-MEENY

When I was a child, there was a rhyme that we used to use to help us to make selections, be it for members of teams, favourite biscuits, or just to make a simple choice between two or three options.

It began "Eeny, meeny, miney, mo..." and I believe that you can already guess where I'm heading with this.

You see, to our more innocent minds, in those more innocent times, the fact that the rhyme goes on to use a word which nowadays is found highly offensive never crossed our minds. It was just a word in a rhyme which helped us to sort out who got which chocolate bar, and who'd be left losing their fillings to the Curly-Wurly.

Rightly or wrongly (and most probably wrongly), that offensive word was quite common back then whether it was used to describe a shade of paint or given as an affectionate name to a war hero's dog and, to be honest, it never crossed our minds to use it to describe a person, despite the fact that they might have toes to be caught by.

I'm not saying that any of this was alright, by the way, just that we hadn't yet come to realise quite how wrong it actually was.

As we got older, the world changed and, on the whole, my generation changed with it, and those that came after it came to realise that any form of term which was used to put down and belittle other human beings was not something which ought to be tolerated.

Oddly enough, however, by some mysterious power of osmosis, even during our later childhood years the toes that were being caught became those of beggars, although I'm sure that in this day and age, the homeless charities might have something to say about that.

Which brings us to Jeremy Clarkson and his latest controversy.

He's not a man who gets much sympathy from the public in general, given his rarely understated opinions, but last week's kerfuffle struck me as being slightly out of proportion to the supposed offence committed...

Basically, he's been accused of using that word when using that childhood rhyme to select one car in a bit of "comedy" business not intended for broadcast, and he claims that, despite what the audio experts might have you believe, he didn't even use the word then, although, as Gordon Brown once found to his cost, it's always better to be very sure about what you're saying when there's an "open" microphone in the vicinity.

Still, whatever he said, even in that context, I genuinely believe that it was not, repeat not, intended to be racist...

Sometimes people will get stirred up and find themselves complaining for complaining's sake, and be manipulated by the media into creating a story that wasn't really there, and sometimes the Great British Public really do like to get themselves stirred up, especially when the media decide to manipulate them into it, and most especially when they think that someone who has got above themselves in the smugness department is overdue a putdown, and despite what they themselves might mutter in the privacy of their own homes, in the pub, or to their colleagues in the name of a slightly edgy titter.

Granted, Mr C rarely does himself many favours, and is not often worthy of much sympathy, but he has received a "final warning" and for once I genuinely believe that he has been treated unfairly, given the circumstances. After all, as they say, let he who is without sin, in his glass house, and all that sort of preachy nonsense...

Meanwhile, as has happened with other words, and Germaine Greer tried with another very strong word a few years ago, the word itself has been reclaimed by those it was once aimed at in order to diffuse its "power" although, from time to time, even that causes controversy, especially when a Hollywood wunderkind writer/director tries to come along and put it in the voices of his characters.

This is very dangerous ground, and we ought to tread carefully so as not to magnify the offence, which is why I'm not going to expand upon it much further, other than to point out that I do think that the reaction was overblown and, even if it was a stupid or misguided slip, the intention behind the words was an unfortunate joke and not to stand in front of someone and abuse them to their face, like some of the scary political extremists that we have in this country nowadays might, even though it might be prudent of Mr C to avoid saying anything at all to anybody for a few months, just in case, and give us all a rest.

Strangely enough, as a peculiarly pointless and obscure aside, that rhyme, in its original format, also appears in a 1960s episode of "Doctor Who" when our heroes get trapped in a mysterious toyroom of doom. That particular episode is still on the "missing" list, but when the soundtrack was released several years ago, the publishers went to great pains to ensure that the word in question was spoken over by the narrator, just in case anyone could be offended.

What they'll do if the actual episode ever turns up is anyone's guess, of course.