FROZEN OUT

With the sudden onset of winter, which came down upon us out of what would have been a clear blue sky if it hadn't happened overnight, the doors on my car were unexpectedly frozen on Monday morning last week as I attempted (in my own inept and half-hearted way) to set about the process of beginning the working week in the usual manner, which did, at least, add a certain amount of drama to the morning routine to distinguish it from all of the other humdrum days.

You see, because I wasn't prepared for this development, not only did I not have the windscreen cover on overnight, but I also had no de-icer about my person, and so a certain amount of scraping and hot air blowing had to be done before we could even set off for the railway station and, given that we were already running a little late, and that the trains are running early at the moment to combat their annual "leaves on the line" excuse scenario, things got more than a little "touch and go" for a few moments there, and we made it with moments to spare with ungrateful thanks to the ineptitude of other drivers getting in my way and the traffic lights refusing to cooperate with my schedule.

As if they don't know...

At the present time, thanks to the burglaries and the paranoia that it subsequently induced in all of us in the little grey box next to the sewage works, I also have the added complication of having to keep lugging my equipment back and forth between the office and home each day.

Don't ask me why, because it's far too complicated and depressing to have to explain it all over again. Suffice it to say that my own paranoia is getting the better of me and is now creeping into my spine and my muscles as I gear up my aging body to do this routine of two-way heavy distance lifting each and every working day.

Each morning, after being negotiated around the piles of clutter which we are still managing to live around, a hefty box of stuff is lugged along the front of the houses, down the stone steps, and along the street to wherever I've managed to sneak myself a parking spot, and then heaved up into the boot of the car, before being removed and lugged into work at the opposite end of the commute, and every evening it makes the return journey, albeit seeming far heavier, and my body far wearier.

This already slightly annoying matter becomes far more difficult, however, when the back door of the car just won't open because of the ice sealing it closed, and I find myself torn between lugging the whole lot back to the house so that I can try to find the wretched can of de-icer which I stored away somewhere at some time in April, leaving the box at the roadside, or just chucking it onto the back seat and hoping that nobody else notices that it's there as I tootle along through the darkness and cold...

That is also presuming that I haven't already come a cropper on the ice, or by tripping over the broken flagstones in the darkness, or just fallen down the steps as I was manhandling the beast towards its chauffeur driven carriage...

The word that keeps coming to mind is "Bah!" and, if I'm not too mistaken, there may be the addition of a "Humbug!" or two over the course of the next few weeks...

I'm none to fond with the idea of winter at the moment, I can tell you, but I think that you may have guessed that already...