DISDAIN

I have nothing but disdain for myself this morning. In fact, since I’ve got up, it’s leapt across the border into full-blown contempt which does, at least, have the advantage that I know how to spell it.

I ought to explain. For the last couple of weeks I’ve been weak-willed, disingenuous and shallow enough to have involved myself in another word game, this one based around that lowest form of wit, puns.

You might know the kind of thing; You take a well-known word and produce an alternative definition for it based upon the letters or sounds of the word itself and attempt to be a tiny bit witty when doing it.

This was one of mine which people seemed to enjoy.

MEME: Person at the front of the class who really wants to answer all of the questions.

But I guess, having had a momentary rush of blood to the head that a fleeting glimpse of pointless success seems to bring along with it, I allowed myself to believe that I was now on equal terms with those who are the experts at such things, and that I was holding my own whilst grappling wordsmithery horns with the great and the good of the pedants and word-wranglers of the world wide web, and, until yesterday I believed that I was doing okay for a novice.

Then, in a moment of madness, and in a bit of a hurry to share my latest “amusing” thought, I posted this:

DISTAIN: (1) Denial of incontinence or impropriety (2) Rudely put question asked by a passenger in a hurry (lost consonants).

In a very public place and for all the world to see.

You’ll already have noticed the glaring error that slipped through the net in my hurry to share my smug little witticism.

Oh, the shame, the horror…!

But that’s not the end of it, because I then compounded the error by then “wittily” adding:

DECEIT: Place where DISTAIN (q.v.) was to be found.

To be fair, the pedants were terribly polite about letting me know of my shameful error, made in the full glare of the watching internet literati, and, even though I was utterly mortified when I noticed it a full twelve hours later as I strolled around the house looking for more ways to distract my brain as another bout of insomnia struck me (it really didn’t help with that, by the way), by then it was too late and I had already allowed myself to be exposed as the cretinous fool that I’d always suspected myself of being, and the irony of the actual word itself that I had chosen for mockery did not escape me.

So, now that I’ve so publicly humiliated myself, I’m so ashamed and embarrassed that I’ve got no other choice than to admit myself into a kind of internet purgatory for a while, and keep my head down and avoid making any comments for a few days, so that I can learn to be humble again and know my place, and leave the real wits to go about their business unhindered by this upstart who tried to get above his station, at least for a little while.

So, whilst I go off and write out “Disdain” a few thousand times until I’m pretty sure that I’ll never forget how to spell it again, I’ve decided that it’s probably for the best if I don’t play any games for a while.

After all, the younger me always used to say very haughtily that he “doesn’t play games…” and by now I’m sure you’re beginning to understand why.

What a wise and erudite young chap he was. I wonder whatever became of him…?

Disdain… disdain… disdain… disdain… disdain…