ROAD TO (LESSER) BLOGFORDSHIRE

A long time ago in a galaxy not so far away, the Hollywood stars Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Dorothy Lamour and the occasional exotic hat all starred together in a series of entertaining films made way, way back in the days before “Star Wars”. These have collectively become known as the “Road to…” movies in which the well-known crooner and his equally well-known co-stars amiably and comedically made their way towards a series of the kind of exotic destinations which might have seemed almost impossibly distant to the people sitting in the rows of seats in the picture houses of the time.

Singapore, Zanzibar, Morocco, Utopia, Rio, Bali and Hong Kong were all places that the “road” was taken “to” over a span of 22 years, mostly – but not always - with the commercial backing of Paramount Pictures. The “formula” for these movies was always pretty much the same, but then the basic “formula” for the “James Bond” films remained pretty constant for at least eighteen of those films, so it would be hardly fair to quibble.

Basically, Bing Crosby and “Turkey” Bob Hope (using whichever nickname he had been given this time) would play a pair of small-time con-artists who would spend most of their time trying to make money out of their latest “get-rich-quick” schemes, a bit like a cosy ancestor of “Hustle” but without the “real-world” dangers thrown into the mix. Bing would usually be the ideas man, and Bob would get to do all the shenanigans and the work. All of these antics would be interrupted by the occasional musical number, as the schemes bounced the plot along. There would always be an appropriate villain to be despatched in much the same way, and – despite the characters always promising each other that they would abstain from such matters – there was always a romantic sub-plot getting in the way of their “plans” such as they were (and most of the time it was Bing Crosby who “got” the girl…).

The old blogger’s gonna sing now, folks! Now’s probably a good time to go off into a dark room and have a good think about your life…

We’re off on the road to Blogfordshire

The Lesser not Greater it’s true

We’ll see if they have any fine beer

And serve up a good pint of brew…

There were 7 films made in the series between 1940 and 1962, although the only one I ever remember actually seeing on the telly was “Road to Bali” on one soggy summer’s afternoon when I wasn’t really old enough to know what a “Bali” was…

Like a lot of films that might be considered to be “old-fashioned” to modern audiences and dismissed, these films sometimes can seem to use some ideas that we might think of as being quite modern. The fast-talking and innuendo-laden dialogue can seem surprisingly racy when you consider the age of the material, and “Fearless” Bob Hope especially breaks the so-called “fourth wall” and addresses the audience directly on a number of occasions, and the later films contained a number of in-jokes, usually referring back to the now-familiar routines used in the earlier ones. As well as this, they were also successfully satirising other movie genres popular at the time they were made. Oops! Time for another song. You might want to stick your fingers in your ears until I tell you its safe. You’ll see me wave, like this… Oh.

We’re still heading for old Blogfordshire

Hoping that we’ll have a fine time

We’re told it’s a place full of good cheer

Hosted by a bloke who’s sublime…

Despite the fact that these movies are no longer that familiar to modern audiences (with even the newest being nearly 50 years old), and that they are barely on network TV in the UK these days (although, for all I know they could be on all the time in the States), Seth MacFarlane successfully revived the format for the occasional episode of “Family Guy” bringing many of the themes and graphic styling (if not the general air of wholesomeness) of those old movies to a new audience who might not have even known of the original’s existence. I wonder how many viewers have Googled (other search engines are available) “Road to The North Pole” (or whichever) and been surprised to find a load of references to those ancient old movies and a load of photographs of that bloke who is on the cover of Great Grandma’s old LPs…

We’re now sitting down in Blogfordshire

Not all we were told was all true

It’s not really all that much fun here

And we can’t get away, Boo hoo hoo!