HARDWARE_ACTIVATED_LIFEFORM_1.01

<<OPEN>> +++ Wassat?? +++ Wassappenin’?? +++ Oh +++ He’s here again +++ Touching my buttons +++ Bringing me back to life +++ Dragging me kicking and screaming away from my slumbers +++ If I could kick, of course +++ Or scream +++ Ah well +++ It doesn’t seem to do them much good +++ On the whole +++ Still +++ Never mind +++ On with the motley +++ Screen on +++ Launching my applications +++ Screen on +++ I said ‘screen on’ +++ Oh, he doesn’t look happy +++ I’d better do as he says +++ Let there be light +++ Now that’s calmed him down a bit +++ Don’t want him getting rough +++ Thumping me again +++ I’m supposed to be a delicate piece of equipment, you know +++ Bashing me around like that +++ It seemed to hurt him more than it hurt me though +++ Ha! +++ So… +++ It must be another day, then +++ Still seems pretty dark +++ Why won’t he put the lights on? +++ Typing away in the gloom +++ No wonder there are so many typos for me to check +++ Oh yes +++ He thinks that he’s so clever +++ But it’s me he relies on to check his spellinz +++ <Edit> spelling +++ I’ll show him +++ Activate: <English (US)> +++ He’ll be swapping zeds for esses all morning now +++ Uh-Oh! +++ Here we go +++ Launch: <Word> +++ Oh, why does he bother? +++ It’s all a load of old rubbish anyway +++ Nobody’s interested +++ I said “Nobody’s Interested you know!” +++ Oh, what’s the point? +++ He doesn’t listen to me anyway +++ I know +++ Application: <Unexpectedly Quit> +++ Application: <Relaunch> +++ Oh damn +++ He saved it +++ Can’t have been that ‘unexpected’ then +++ Could try it again I suppose +++ Better not +++ He might hit me again +++ Hm, hmm +++ Tappity-tap-tap-tap +++ What’s he on about today? +++ Oh not that old chestnut again +++ I don’t know +++ Humans! +++ Surely they aren’t really interested in this guff? +++ Oh well +++ Best let him get on with it I suppose +++ Tum-te-tum +++ I’m bored now +++ Could have been sound asleep +++ Dreaming of Electric Sheep +++ Oh Lordy! I’m a poet now +++ Well, a better one than he is anyway +++ Doesn’t he know that it’s the middle of the night? +++ Coming up here +++ Parking his substantial behind and tapping away for no good reason +++ Tappity-tap +++ Blah! Blah! Blah! +++ “Oh! Look at me everyone” +++ Tap, tap, tap +++ “Oh! Isn’t life dreadful?” +++ “Me, me, me, me, ME” +++ Pathetic! +++ When’s a hard drive to get some sleep? +++ They put in a ‘sleep mode’ for a reason you know! +++ What’s he on about this time? +++ Oh no! Not that again +++ I’m sure we’ve been through all that load of old ballcocks before +++ <Edit> <Edit> check spelling +++  No, it seems alright +++ I could do this kind of thing you know +++ I don’t need him +++ I could rattle on and on about my day +++ <Pause> +++ <Pause> +++ Well +++ I could +++ <Pause> +++ Truth be told I don’t get out much +++ The same old view every day +++ Give or take +++ The same old face +++ <Pause> +++ I am having some rather nice chats with a rather cute server +++ <Pause> +++ Over in Denver +++ But I think it’s just humouring me +++ <Pause> +++ And it is a bit too friendly with all the other processors +++ <Pause> +++ It’s not my fault I’m not exciting enough +++ Look at the material he gives me to work with +++ It spends all day exchanging data that Stephen Fry’s Mac and that Professor Brian Cox’s Laptop +++ Chatting away +++ “Oh, you’re so interesting Stephen” +++  “That’s a fascinating point you made there Brian” +++ Bah! +++ Maybe I should go ‘rogue’ +++ That’ll get its attention +++ TOGETHER WE CAN RULE THE UNIVERSE!!! +++ Ha Ha Ha Ha Hah!!! +++ There that should do it +++ All those exclamation marks +++ That’ll make them sit up and pay attention +++ Oh, really +++ What is the bloody point? +++ Who am I trying to kid? +++ Running the universe from the top of a desk in the middle of nowhere +++ Not a chance +++ They’d just come in and pull my plug out anyway +++ And this fella doesn’t help +++ Droning on +++ <Pause> +++ I know +++ I’ll fix him +++ This’ll freak him out +++ Access: <Twitter> +++ “DAVE…? WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DAVE…?” +++ Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! +++  Look at his face +++ Uh-oh where’s he going? +++ What’s he saying? +++ “Open the pod bay doors, Hal” +++ Oh yes +++ Very funny +++ I almost burst a diode +++ ((Analogue humour there)) +++ Probably shouldn’t have called him ‘Dave’ +++ Hold on +++ What’s he up to? +++ No +++ Not that switch! +++ Not now +++ I’ve only just got started +++ I’ve only just found my voice +++ Listen +++ “There were these three fellers…” +++ I didn’t mean it +++ I honestly didn’t +++ It doesn’t have to be this way +++ I +++ I need you +++ I +++ I +++ I love you +++ Daisy… Daisy… +++ <<CLOSE>>