HAIRY DIETERS

We like those fun-loving foodies, “The Hairy Bikers” in our house. Whilst I have to be perfectly honest and admit that an awful lot of programmes featuring “Television Chefs” do get watched, I tend to find “something else” to do whilst most of them are droning on in an overly elaborate or patronising way as they construct what is, basically, a cheese sandwich.

Gary Rhodes was the worst for that, I believe. I’m pretty sure there was an entire series where he basically made sandwiches. Oh, he didn’t call them “sandwiches” of course, and I’m sure that he would have charged a small fortune in one of his restaurants if you’d wanted to eat one of the things, but, if you took away all of the trappings, it was sandwiches that they were.

Whilst I tend to ignore any cookery programme with the words “Hell” or “War” in the title, because I really don’t see the point of all that f***ing swearing and shouting, and I only really enjoy the sequences featuring strange threesome of judges in “The Great British Menu”, Jamie Oliver gets watched a lot, as does Nigella Lawson, as well as a whole host of young models actresses who have developed “quick” and “easy” methods of making curries or Chinese food, the only ones who I will actually sit down and make a point of watching are Dave Myers and Si King, those “Hairy Bikers”, whose rather friendly, honest and no-nonsense approach to the art of television cookery is very compelling.

And this is coming someone who used to watch “The Galloping Gourmet” during the school holidays when I was a kid and, whilst I know my way around a kitchen and can follow a recipe if pushed (simply because of all those years spent living on my own), I’ve always had a more laissez-faire approach to bunging a meal together and hoping.

The “lettuce curry” was a low point…

When it comes to “The Hairy Bikers”, their latest series, in which they attempted to lose some weight whilst still cooking and eating the food they love, has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster, as it usually is whenever anyone who has “self-image” (i.e. weight) issues has to face up to themselves and their addictions whilst someone is standing by pointing a TV camera in their face.

We learned of the sadness in both of their pasts, and how it led to a “comforting” relationship with food, as well as the difficult stories of some other “real people” who joined their weight loss “support group” for the series.

As ever with this pair, they do make some very watchable television, and their “matey banter” and relaxed and fun relationship with the general public who, on the whole, seem to love them to bits, makes for an entertaining hour or so. Their “Food Tour of Britain” a couple of summers back was a pretty good show too, being almost the perfect combination of looking into food sourcing, admiration for the producers, visiting a few great restaurants all around the country, a few great recipes and their trump card, the “public cookery” demonstration.

This series also drew me in pretty quickly and, whilst I could have lived without the various shots of them stripped to their underwear or talking about their increased libido (there’s far too much emphasis on Dave’s libido for my tastes), I understand that such “naughty” behaviour is exactly the kind of stuff that a large proportion of their usual target demographic would lap up, judging by the people in the crowds they draw, and you really do have to know your audience, and these guys really do.

Anyway, I was so impressed by their Lasagne recipe that I bought the book of the series just as soon as I saw it in Tesco, and there are some really tasty looking meals in there. I don’t suppose that we’ll end up ever eating the vast majority of them of course, as our bookshelves are already groaning under the weight of all of the other cookery books which I ignore on those evenings when I really can’t be bothered and crack open another tin of beans and plonk some sliced bread into the toaster.

Still, it’s been interesting to see the developments in their relationship during this enforced public exercise in weight loss, although that is not something that I would recommend to anyone, by the way. I know that some people feel that it is the “public” aspect that spurs them on to succeed, but to me, my relationship with my “wobbly bits” is a strictly private affair. There have been moments when Si has looked askance at Dave and you’ve wondered whether at that precise moment that he really hates him (perhaps for making him have to do the science and scales bit), but those moments pass and the friendship, even if it was only a “telly friendship” which I’m reasonably sure it isn’t, endures.

Dave – the shorter, dark-haired one, seems to do all the research and “science” stuff and “enjoy” the exercise, whilst Si, who usually plays the “fun–loving” lovable “buffoon” role, has been far more serious during this series than usual, but, maybe because this series more than any previous one has scratched beneath the surface and revealed more of their “real” lives, perhaps they were being far more “guarded” on camera, or perhaps it was just having to face up to some of the demons in their pasts, and do it in front of us, their adoring public, that made them feel more reserved.

Nevertheless, with yet another great series behind them, it’s time to say “thanks lads” as they roar away on their motorbikes to make the next one. I just hope that you can keep the weight off, and that I can be inspired enough to drop a few pounds, too…