10 PEARLS OF "WISDOM"

Some days the words just won’t come at all so, whilst I go off and regroup and try and think of something else of no consequence to write about, here are a few pearls of, well, not “wisdom” exactly (although there does seem to be a fashion for such things lately - especially from prospective mothers-in-law), but just some random things to think about and which will hopefully help you to get through your day. I was hoping that they would all need no explanation but, as it’s me… Ah, you know.

“You’re never as funny or as important as you like to think you are.” This should be rule number one in so many ways, especially the last part, the last refuge of a scoundrel, the “Don’t you know who I am?” syndrome. Yes, you’re another human being sharing this sad little planet with me, and my time is just as precious to me as yours is to you. Get over yourself because we’re all going to be just as dead one day, so we might as well be as nice as we can be to other people as we live our lives. Oh, and while we’re at it, giving people little bits of advice they neither want nor need is actually pretty pointless too, so... Ah... Do you see what I did there...? No, I didn’t think that was very funny, either.

“If someone offers to pay, let them.” Particularly in restaurants. If someone really wants to pick up the bill, they usually have their reasons and all that patting of pockets and “No, I couldn’t possibly” stuff just makes an awkward situation far worse. Sometimes people really just want to be nice, so let them, very few of them will want you to pay them back somehow some day, and, if they do, then they’re probably a rogue and you should eat the food they bought you, smile, and run away and never think of them again.

“If they don’t like it, it doesn’t really matter.” Just as long as you are happy with what you’ve done, it doesn’t matter if nobody else thinks that much of it. I’m really only referring to things we create here, because the opposite is also true because you obviously don’t like it if someone steals your stuff or your seat and that really does matter. This should not ever be used to justify any selfish behaviour, it’s just a tiny mantra to occasionally make a bad day feel slightly better.

“Learn to let it go.” Otherwise known as “Everything I ever needed to know I learned from watching Indiana Jones movies” but the thinking is pretty much on the money. I can’t imagine how many hours, days and years I’ve let slip by whilst I’ve brooded on some incident or other that everyone else involved has already forgotten all about. Some days, just one word or phrase is enough to cause my mood to plummet. The worst thing to do, I find, is to act upon it so long after it’s happened that you just look a bigger fool than they already took you for. Just let it go, in the end, none of it really matters very much…

“Dress for all weathers.” On a summer’s day, always assume that it will rain eventually, and having something else to put on, and appropriate footwear, will make the day end much less horribly than it could otherwise have. Being soggy, cold and miserable never makes anyone feel better, but a nice clean and dry pair of socks might help the feeling to go away a little.

“Don’t assume that somebody else will do it.” Picking up litter, doing the washing up, saving the planet, it’s just as much your responsibility and just as much your fault if you decide to ignore it, unless it doesn’t bother you, of course, then it’s a case for that other old manta: “If it bothers you, do it yourself...”

“You’ve always packed far too much.” I’ve lost track of how many journeys I’ve taken laden down with too much stuff crammed into my pockets to feel prepared for every eventuality, only to bring it home having not even looked at any of it, and how many suitcases I’ve unpacked back home with clean clothes still inside. Less is more, more or less, and you can have too much stuff.

“Something will always go wrong.” That’s a given, but as long as you know that something will probably go wrong, then you’re ready for it when it does and you don’t have to get all worked up about it. I can absolutely guarantee, like most of these pearls of so-called wisdom, that I will particularly fail to remember this one at the most crucial time.

“If they don’t like you, they probably never will.” You can’t force people to like you, but we can only keep on trying, but sometimes you just have to admit defeat and walk away. Say to yourself “It’s their loss” if it makes you feel any better. It isn’t, though, in fact they probably won’t even notice, and sometimes it’s probably wiser to just accept that none of us can like absolutely everybody, can we...?

“Other people aren’t really interested.” Things may fascinate you, but bore everyone else to tears. Just because your world stops at the walls of your home, doesn’t mean everyone else’s does. If you want to prattle on regardless, there are websites available where you can do just that...

Oh…